Guess what I did this Saturday?

Ok - guess what I did today? Let me give you three clues. I did something that was reckless, fearless and somewhat stupid.. I will divulge all to you.

Ok - I had decided, some months ago, that due to taking all that time off because of my chest infection, I would run a half-marathon today instead of my planned marathon. Wise decision. Right? But I didn't get my buns in gear and didn't e-mail the race organisers that I had considered doing this. Not until this week. And guess what? They told me the half was full, as was the transport to the start (the race started and finished in a different place..). So I spent the week fruitlessly coming up with ways to get to the start. My friend Sally and I were going to drive to the race together but I contemplated driving in convoy (how boring!) or trying to find someone to give me a ride. Husband would have taken me but was in charge of children and also had to take them to a party (near to the race, as it happened).

So yesterday lunchtime I decided to throw in my big guns. I went onto the Runnersworld website to the Forum thread for the White Peak marathon and half and offered up my bribe - homemade oatmeal raisin or chocolate chip cookies for anyone who would transport me to the half start. No takers. No takers! My biscuits are fabulous! And the oats make them good! Right? Right. Anyway they obviously didn't sell themselves. Then someone who I have never met posted a message saying "why don't you take it easy and just run the full? You've got a place on THAT bus?". And so, readers, that's what I resolved to do. I told no-one except my husband (who doesn't run and didn't realise the implications of someone SERIOUSLY undertrained running a marathon) and Sally (who thinks I'm nuts anyway so it all proves her point). Which she is right about, by the way.

So guess who lined up for the marathon today? me. Bright and sprightly and perky. My new Camelbak backpack on, mobile with me for disasters, plenty of powerbars - I will confess to you that I thought I might amaze myself.
Friends of mine (mostly men..) have run marathons without much training and I thought that maybe I was being too much of a stick-in-the-mud sticking to Uncle Hal's programs and needed to "live a little". Well, my friends, I lived a lot. I feel like I've lived a lifetime. On the upside - the race was on traffic-less roads, the weather was ok and there were only 200 other marathoners registered. I met some nice people, had some very interesting conversations. So much for running Oprah. On the downside - guys! I can't run a marathon without training! This hurt. SO MUCH! There were some mean and nasty steep downhills and my knees are toast! I found it hard. I walked! I have never walked! I wasn't able to slow down enough - I was either running a 10:30 minute mile or walking. OK OK. Another confession. I thought about blogging about my decision last night but knew that you - wiser friends of mine in the blogosphere - would tell me that I was nuts and shouldn't do it.

Upshot? OK I finished in 4:49. Not too bad - NYC took me 6 minutes more but I was well over 30 minutes off my Chicago time. But I tell you guys - it was not fun. Miles 21-26.2 were horrible. And I've never had that before. Training consistently has meant that I have always been more or less confident and capable during marathons. Today that was not the case. So a lesson has been learned - to everyone's shock and awe Petra does not run fast or enjoyable marathons without training properly. Hear me girlfriends? Don't do what I did.

Finally though - despite all of the above I am happy tonight. Grinning, in fact. I had a rubbish week. I don't think I'm dealing well with the thought of my little boy going to school in September and losing a big part of my mom-job at home. I've been horrible - moody, grumpy, self-doubting, angry - you name it, I have been it. My family has show extraordinary patience with the witch, I can tell you. But doing something stupid and irresponsible brought back my inner naughtiness and it's perked me up no end. I won't do it again - the pain is too much! My legs are unmoveable and stairs scare me - but, strangely and stupidly enough - it was what I needed. I laughed with myself today, and I haven't done that for a long time..

Keep running, keep training, and stick to your schedules, my friends! I am going to have a hot bath and then meet my friends Ben and Jerry in bed with a book. I know how to live.. or not?

the future is bright, the future lies with Advanced Marathoning

The silence of the past 2 weeks has not been due to any more illness (thankfully) or lack of running (well.. not really - more on that later) but rather due to my applying myself and some of my trusty blog readers to choosing a training plan to use to ... train for the Amsterdam marathon on October 21st, for which I have now officially registered!

So - it's all happening. The incredibly impressive ShirleyPerly - who runs marathons the way normal mortals drink the first coffee of the day - quickly! - sent me a long e-mail regarding choosing a training program. She makes a number of excellent points, which I will briefly summarise below (for the benefit of at least some of my readers (you know who you are girls!) who are going to be training at the same time..):
- there's no such thing as a "sure thing" training program. Dang! Easy option out the window right there..
- then she launches straight into her most crucial point: the best program you can pick is the one that is least likely to get you injured and most likely to help you deal with your performance limiters..

OK. Performance limiters for me are:
- genetics. I lost the excess weight, my BMI is great BUT I'm still a short sturdy diesel. My great grandfather was a (very relatively) famous long-distance skater and one of the most famous things about him was, apparently, the fact he had big thighs.. What can I say, it's obviously a dominant gene. My point is - I am somewhat limited by the ingredients I was given. Paula Radcliffe need not look over her shoulder.
- lack of speed. OK - some of that is to do with the above point but, in fairness, I have never done any serious speedwork. I did find in the past that I put myself at the risk of injury with really fast speedwork but there is quite a bit I could do in this area..
- time. Like most of us I have a busy life outside of running and I can't always devote the time and attention to running that I might like to. I think I pretty much give as much time to it as I can get away with.
- fuel. I have never really thought about my athlete's diet as I never really think of myself as an athlete. But there is no doubt that what I eat affects my running and recovery and that I could do more to fine-tune that relationship. Hrmmm..

So bearing all this in mind I have bought the book that Shirley recommended - Pete Pfitzinger's Advanced Marathoning. While I was waiting for Amazon to get it to me I read an article on the Runnersworld website by Amby Burfoot about the ingredients of marathon training and how many runners don't train very efficiently. They run too fast or too slow and so never maximise the benefit of different kinds of runs. Now that I have received the Pfitzinger book I see he makes pretty much the same point and has put together what looks like a good if challenging marathon training program. I think I'm going to go for the 18 week program and add 2 weeks onto it - there's one week during my vacation this summer where I may not get all the running in and I'd like to build in a week for life - tiredness, illness, injury - so that I don't completely fall out of the program if something happens.

Now - my running. After a dispiriting run with Sally last Sunday - we were aiming for 12 and I had to give up after 9 I was so tired, the rest of the week has been good. I've been pondering my tiredness but I think it's just that - life is pretty exhausting at the moment and I'm really going to have to concentrate to get enough rest to train for this fall marathon. My spirit returned to me on Monday - I was determined to lick the 12 miles and did it. At a slow pace - I also think I've been running a bit fast with Sal - I managed it quite easily. And then the rest of the week was good - even managed a lactic threshold and pace run as well as 2 5 mile maintenance runs. Heading out for a 10/12 miler with Sally tomorrow in preparation for next Saturday's White Peak half-marathon and that should bring my weekly mileage up to at least 37 miles. 37 miles! No wonder I'm feeling a bit tired in the evenings..

Otherwise running is proving a bit of a haven for the mess in my head. I was listening to Adam Tinkoff's great new show - the Zen Runner - and he was talking about seeing your mind as a river and what you did to calm it down. Well, at the moment mine is a big stormy river and all that seems to calm it is running. I'm heading towards a new phase in my life - 2 kids at school in September - and I'm wondering what I'm going to do with myself. I have done various bits of odd freelance work in the past years but nothing consistent and suddenly I'm wondering whether I should be pursuing more of a directed course. I won't bore you with my CV but I'm a Jack of all Trades, mistress of none. I've done graduate studies, worked in academic publishing, worked in IT - and now I'm at a bit of a loss as to where to go next. My head is swirling with the voices and opinions of others (which I ask for, to be fair) and my own self-doubt. If this all sounds depressing - it isn't - just a confusing time. Which, strangely enough, is leading me back to a reappraisal of running for its own sake - for the way in which it can take me out of myself and bring me some peace and strength and confidence. So, to finish this post - the running's going great..

marathon? here i come, i think..

Life took over the last week - work, family, home etc.. but the running didn't suffer. I managed to get out to running club on Tuesday and then ran most days of last week, managing 9 miles on Saturday and Sunday despite late nights. However, by yesterday those late nights came home to roost - I only managed two before going to bed very early last night. Still, I am feeling positive and have decided, more or less definitely (is there such a thing?) to enter the Amsterdam marathon on October 21st.

Still haven't decided on a training program but ShirlyPerly of the Humble Triathlete blog has very generously and kindly offered to help me out there. I'm going to be e-mailing her my details and info today and see what she says. I'm still interested in the Hansons program but the fact that there is no book out there about it makes it that much more difficult to do, I think. What do you think? Other exciting news is that Maddy is going the whole hog and running a marathon as well so we can cheer each other on from across the Atlantic!

Otherwise - I just got the MP3 files for this CD that Dr. Monte is putting together on weight loss and healthy lifestyles and to which I made a contribution. Great stuff but AWFUL hearing my voice - I sound like Mary Poppins! I don't know how people do this podcasting thing, this has made me realise I definitely can't listen to myself. Anyway - I will let you all know when it comes out and you can see what you think.

And that's it! Uneventful life this week which makes a nice change. Keep runnning!

Quick update on St. Stephen and my running

Well it was quite the experience - following Saint Stephen all through the Boston Marathon. I had signed up for e-mail alerts of his times, along with some of his other fans. Steve is so modest that he always claims to have just 10 listeners - well, Monday, he was proved incredibly wrong. My inbox groaned with the e-mails from other listeners which I was cc'ed in on, waiting to hear how he was doing. Amazingly, some were able to watch the marathon online across the world, others followed the e-mail and still others were actually able to watch it in person. We must all be quite geeky listeners because those who watched obviously went home and e-mailed about it - it was a wonderful experience. It was like we were all watching and spectating. When it became clear that Steve was having a hard time everyone started mailing in chants, like we would have done had we been on the streets of Boston, along the lines of "come on Steve, keep it going, you're looking great" etc. It later transpired that one of the e-mail readers passed this on to Steve and that this was one of the things that kept him going - that there was a whole community out there willing him along and sending out their positive vibes. Quite an experience.. I'm not through listening to his podcast about the race - I know he did not manage a PB, but given the conditions I think it was utterly remarkable he finished at all. St Stephen - a hero to us all!
I've been checking out the Boston qualifying times - what else does a girl do after a day like that? and I see that I was wrong - 4:00 is the qualifying time for 45-50 women - at the moment I'm 35 so I've got to get 3:45 (yeah, right) and when I'm 40 it goes up to 3:50. Sigh.. I've either got to get a lot better or a lot older. Can't decide which is easier..

In the meantime, on a positive note, however - my running is back on track. I've been doing my daily maintenance runs of 4.2 miles since Wednesday without trouble or discomfort and am heading out for an easy 10M tomorrow morning with Sally. We'll have a marathon conversation no doubt - she wants to do Nottingham but I'm secretly contemplating Amsterdam.. You may not realise this but I'm actually Dutch and go back home very regularly and it would be great to run a race my family could come out and support in some serious numbers! Also - as my parents would be there they could bring the kids and they could see me race. Finally - it's 2 days after my birthday (36) and I seem to be making near birthday marathons a tradition, saving the champagne for after the races... So I'm going to try and talk Sal out of Nottingham and into Amsterdam. Watch this space...

Finally - thank you all for your feedback on giving up on my May marathon.. You know, once I started watching Steve on Monday I put it all behind me. I realise that, somehow, part of me wasn't really focusing on it - I was not training mentally at all, the way I should have been. So I'm picking a new goal (oh joy!) and ... tatada! going to try a new training plan. I'm contemplating the Hansons moderate consistent plan but suggestions are welcome. If I do run Amsterdam, I've got a few weeks to go before deciding so let me know what you think would work. I've done one marathon on a Mike Gratton training plan - not particularly great, too hard for a first-timer, one marathon on Hal Higdon - good, but, as Terry says, not going to get you speedy - so now I'm looking for improvement. And I'm prepared to go the distance - she says boldly. So let me know what you think - what / who works for you and why?

Rooting for Saint Stephen

It's Patriot's Day over in the United States and we runners know what that means - it's Boston Marathon day. For so many of us it's a dream to one day qualify (it certainly is for me, see my previous post) but until that happens, we live vicariously through others who are running it. And for a lot of us running bloggers, podcasters and podcast lovers that running friend is going to be Steve Runner of Phedippidations who is braving the weather and the hills today on his quest for, at the very least, a course PB. He's run it before - today is his 6th attempt - and the second time that he podcasts while running. Last year - how shall I put this delicately? - things did not go too well for him - a couple of pre-race bagels and a course of antibiotics fought a battle with Steve while he was running.. But never one to shirk from a challenge, Steve announced last year that he was going to focus on his running above all else and he's really gone for it. Training-wise he's moved from an adapted Hal Higdon schedule to an unusual but highly promising schedule by the Hanson brothers, he's had some expert advice and most importantly - he has dedicated himself to getting into the best shape ever to run the race and smash his previous records.

The day has dawned in the US, Steve has mailed us to tell us he's awake and posted a picture of himself before the race - can you sense the excitement? All of his fans can sign up and receive e-mails of his progress and sign up for Flick'r and Twitter updates along the way. Go on over to his website to add your name to the list and make sure to listen to next week's podcast when we'll be getting the blow by blow account.

Run long Steve - and conquer!

No marathon in May after all..

Well - that's one way to kill the suspense.. As you all know I was intending to run a marathon in Derbyshire on May 19th and I was well on my way - well, sort of on my way, to running it when I was felled by a chest infection which took nearly 2 weeks out of my training. Last week I decided I would get back in the saddle and pick up where I left off. Channel my inner diesel is how I put it.. Well guys - the tank was emptier than I thought. I didn't tell you - because I didn't want to tell me - how hard I found my first 8 miler with Sally. The rest of the runs that week weren't very good either - I was just exhausted. This week I have managed a few 4 milers but really that's been all that I've been capable of. I have had to acknowledge that doing a 20 miler tomorrow would be madness and that I may well not have been able to do it...

Aarrggghhh - even as I write this part of me is thinking "am I sure? I could try?". Another part of me is so terrified of giving up (of failing, which I know it isn't but there is that devil on my shoulder who tells me it is) for fear of - what exactly? Rationally I know that I have just been ill and it has taken me longer than I had thought to recover and, as such, I have not been able to train enough to get through and enjoy this marathon. Best thing to do is pick another race in Autumn and get ready for that. Pluses - I'm in good shape to begin with (once I really leave this chestiness behind, and that is happening now) and I could take on a different plan which motivates me more. But emotionally - ha! Now there's a different game. I actually like training - I like the discipline and the structure and I hate this feeling that, this time, I have not been able to lead it to its intended conclusion. I also hate the feeling that I might have been able to - might I?

Well - truth of the matter is - I've stopped training for now and am just running my daily 4-5 mile maintenance runs. I'm contemplating entering this September's Nottingham marathon. If I did a 20 week Hanson-style training program I'll need to start at the end of this month. Maybe the best way to kick away the blues is to get stuck in again and maybe be a bit smarter this time - sleep a bit more, stress a little less. Meditate! Adam Tinkoff has been very helpful and it's certainly affecting my sleep very positively. And perhaps just take a day off if I'm feeling poorly rather than wait for the big whammy..

Anyway - enough whingeing. Tomorrow is Boston and I'm just keeping all fingers, toes etc. crossed for Steve Runner from Phedippidations who has really upped the ante on his training this year and shown admirable focus and dedication, all in his quest to break 4 hours. I'll be following him on the web and through text messages - all really exciting stuff. My underlying plan is to somehow pull a sub 4 hour marathon when I'm 39 so that I can then use that time to qualify for the 40-45 group the year after. What a dream eh!

In the meantime, hope everyone else's running is going well and stay in touch!

I asked and I received

Well, I asked for advice and you, my dear blog readers gave it. And it was pretty consistent - stop and rest! So I did. All in all I went for 9 days without running and I think I feel better all round for having done it. Lots of sleep and fluids saw off my chest infection pretty quickly and by Wednesday I did my first little loop - 1.4 miles. The weather has been glorious so it's a pleasure to get out there, and I added a few more miles on Thursday and Friday, though nothing too strenuous.

As for the marathon - I'm going to see but, in principle, I'm going to do it. Surfing around the net it seems that if the general opinion is that if you're following a long-ish program (mine is 18 weeks) you can afford to miss a few weeks. It may well affect the outcome in terms of time, but I'm not so worried about that. I'm really looking forward to running a small marathon (200 people) and running it on trails in stunning Derbyshire. It'll be so different from New York and Chicago and probably quite challenging (hilly!) so I'm not going to pressure myself to get round in a particular time. I'll just channel my inner diesel engine and keep going..

Speaking of schedules, I am, somewhat belatedly, beginning to have my doubts about following Hal Higdon's schedules. At least - in the somewhat loose way I do. The fact that there is no speedwork or strengthwork involved and only one pace run a week is not good for me, I think. I think if, in the long term, I would like to speed up my marathons a bit, I need to concentrate on those elements more than I have been doing. I have been listening avidly to Steve Runner's preparation for Boston and he has followed a quite unusual schedule this time, referred to as the Hansons' moderate consistent plan or "something of substance" which involves not quite so many really long runs (the longest is 16 miles) but instead incorporates much more serious speed and strength work and relies on "quality" workouts every day (and has you running 6 days a week). Once I've done this marathon in Derbyshire I may use their half-marathon schedule to train for a half in early autumn, not sure which one, and see what happens.

But - I'm not changing horses this late in the game and, in fairness to Hal, I could have been a lot stricter about following his schedule than I have been.. So it's into week 13 of Hal's schedule, with a 13 miler to wedge in tomorrow as I have no childcare today. I'll let you know how I get on - and thank you so much for your feedback last week - I really appreciated it all.

OK body - part 2

It's been over a week since I last posted which is kind of unusual - I really seem to be catching the blogging bug at the moment. Truth is I'm psyched by the responses - hearing from Marathon Chris and Maddy and Kevin - it's great to feel part of a larger community and it makes it so much more relevant to post regularly.

As you know I went to Berlin with my husband this week - of which a bit more later - but first - the Lincoln 10K. 4 years ago this was the first race I ever ran. Running it this year I marvelled at the changes that I made to get to that first race and was proud of myself for keeping them up. At that time I had a 1 year old and a 4 year old and had just managed to drag myself out of the lowest state I'd ever been in. I'd gone from being a sedentary, negative, heavy (85 kilos - 187 lbs) woman who had very little faith in herself to someone who ran every day, had lost 25 kilos and was getting stronger and more self-confident every day. That race was the beginning of a lot of great races to follow (to date various short races, 5 half marathons and 2 full marathons) and also the beginning of me beginning to find myself again, to love myself again (even in a binbag). We all know how easy it is, particularly as women, to feel you don't match up to a certain standard - beauty-wise, professionally or otherwise. Running has given me so much - physical strength, physical fitness, pride in my body however unlike a model's it might be, confidence and, finally, friends. I have made a lot of great friends through running - some who I've never met but feel I know through their blogs, others who I've met through running with them at my running club (like Sally and Rachel) and another who was virtual (through podcasting) and is now a real friend, Adam Tinkoff. All these people have become part of my life through running and that's a pretty amazing thing.

So - forgive the diversion - but all these things ran through my head as I ran last week's sunny 10K with Sally and Rachel. My mother-in-law was stationed along the route with my camera, ready to capture some action shots for the blog but when I ran past her I noticed the shutter was closed - and this was all I got.. I'm not even sure that is my shoe there but I'm kind of assuming ..


The race itself is a good one - flat and well marshaled - and getting bigger every year. And - who can bear the tension any longer? - I set a PB despite hacking up my lungs with a terrible chest cough all along the route. At about 8km I broke away from Sally and Rachel and went for it and managed to finish in 51:39 - about 15 seconds faster than I ran it in 2005.. One lesson to be learned though - Sally, who makes every run look like a walk in the past - was about a minute behind me. Like the half marathon a few weeks ago. I don't know why I bother to break away from her and I'm going to try to learn my lesson. If I stick with her I'll still be fine and fast..

OK then Berlin. Well what can I say? After months of all sorts of action, tension and excitement my husband and I were together, alone, for the first time and what did we do? We got sick. By the second day we got there I had to leave the Jewish museum I was so shivery and achey and sick and I went back to the hotel and slept all afternoon. The next day I popped ibuprofen and paracetamol and we had a lovely day in this beautiful and interesting city but I still did not feel great and Thursday (our travelling home day) and Friday (first day back home) I just felt awful. When I still felt terrible yesterday, and Adam had been coughing like a tubercular Victorian orphan all night we both went to the doctor and hey - we both have chest infections and so now we have his 'n hers antibiotics and steroids. What fun! I feel a lot better this morning (probably due to the antibiotics and king-size paracetamols I'm now taking) but I have now not run for a week... Which is a bit scary.

What should I do? Blog readers - this is a shout-out to you. What should I do? I'm beginning to perk up but I don't imagine I'll be able to run until about Wednesday or Thursday - I'm just too weak at the moment. Looking back, I was probably harbouring this infection when I ran that terrible 17 miler a few weeks ago. I have now missed one week of hard training (including an 18 miler) and am probably going to miss most of my step-back week's training as well. Should I just carry on or abandon my marathon? At this point in time what I think I will do - but I welcome your feedback - is get back into this easier week when I feel ready for it and then see how I do and feel. This weekend should be a relatively easy long run (13M) and I'll see how I get on with that. I would like to do this race now - I'm at week 12 of training - and perhaps, if I can push aside my natural competitiveness - I could just see if I can complete the training and do the race at an easy-ish pace and complete comfortably - aiming perhaps at 4:30 - 4:45? Anyway - as I say - feedback welcome.

Finally, thanks for all the comments. I love it!

Ok body - I hear ya..

You're always told to listen to your body - much wiser people than myself repeat this message and yet - do I hear it? Nooooohhh. Most of the time I run around like a crazy woman without enough time to think ahead, with one finger in as many pies as possible and the other one in my ear singing "lalala" to drown out all those around me who tell me to calm down. Well - for once - I think I'm getting the message.

After Wednesday's run I took yesterday off running but today - a beautiful if windy one - I thought I would make up for it by running 8 after work. But you know what - it's just not in there at the moment. I don't know why - it's true I'm tired, it's true I'm busy, but I've run through all that before - but the important thing is - I'm worn out. So - I'm going to give myself a break. I'm taking tomorrow off, running the 10K on Sunday at whatever pace feels comfortable (I can hear you saying "oh yeah right" but I'm really going to try!) and then - shock horror - I'm going to take the next 4 days off. I'm due to go on a long-awaited break with my husband - 4 days together in Berlin - and, I barely dare write this, I don't think I'll pack my running shoes.. And then - to top it off - I'm not going to make up the missed runs. I'll see if I can get back into my schedule, which should, in theory, work - I've done it after illness - and if it doesn't - then I'll make my decisions from there. Hopefully the break from running will revitalise and reinvigorate me and make me happy to be back on the road. It's not that I'm not happy running but my body is just so tired these past few days. Sleep has been a lot better - thank you Marathon Chris for the bath and the glass of wine tip - but I think I'm just going to try this.

Hope all your running is going better - let me know what's going on!

I did it - but not sure how..

Did the 17 miles yesterday but I have to say it was not a good run. Despite my new gizmo, my Camelbak Octane, which was very comfortable and produced no chafing, it was a really difficult run. I felt so tired I walked a few times (some of my miles were 12 minute miles, to my shame) and at one point I even sat down. Between 12 and 15 miles I was very much minded to give up but the thought of having to 'fess all on this blog made me determined to sort myself out. Which is interesting as I'd discussed this with Dr. Monte last week - how keeping a blog can make you stick to what you're doing health and fitness-wise. Well, without you out there in cyberspace I would have quit at 12 miles, I'm sure.

I had been listening to my iPod and after listening to some excellent shows (Phedippidations, Fitness Rocks and Running Adventures) I did about 15 minutes of teach yourself Japanese which was hilarious .. picture a sweaty woman trudging through the woods loudly ordering herself one or two beers and some japanese tea. After that the content deteriorated - some frankly completely uninteresting interviews on salon.com which didn't help my mood at all and then at 15 miles came the all-time low - actually sitting down and contemplating not getting up again. I decided to give it my best - remembering Adam Tinkoff's podcast on the 4 agreements - and took off my iPod. I then went into my running survival technique, which is to count very slowly from 1-100 and then start all over again. I did this for the last 2 miles and, although they were slow, I managed to do them without stopping. When I had finished, I was too exhausted to feel happy or proud or take a picture of myself with my new gear..

Of course, as usual I had a busy schedule to get right into - as I ran onto our front lawn my friend's car pulled up with my daughter in it - she had taken Sophia with her for the afternoon so I could get my run in - and shortly afterwards I found myself upstairs putting together a tent to go on top of my son's new Ikea bunk bed. After reading him a story and putting him to bed and passing my daughter onto my husband to put to bed I ran into the shower, got dressed and ran out of the door for a meal with a friend I hadn't seen for a long time. All lovely but too much given what I'd already done that day - by the time I got to bed last night I was shaking with exhaustion..

So why did it go so badly? I'm really not sure. Part of the reason has to be that I'm exhausted. I've also got a cold and a chesty cough which isn't terrible, but not great either. Also - despite having great new gear I didn't have any energy drink so just drank water and had a PowerBar along the way. I tend to drink some kind of sportsdrink and I think it does make a difference.. Whatever the reason, I'm a bit worried about the marathon in just under 2 months. The way I was feeling yesterday there is no way I could have run another 9 miles. On the other hand, I had some pretty slow training runs in the run up to Chicago, so perhaps I should just see how I go for the next few weeks. I have a few more major long runs coming up - 18M and 2 20M runs - so hopefully there will be a bit more juice in the box for those.. Whatever I do, I will keep you all posted and informed.

Till then - happy running and stay with it..

Spring sprang - and jumped right back again..

After a week of beautiful weather, early morning runs and the prospect of spring, the weather has changed right back again.. Very cold, slightly snowy and very windy on my 6am run this morning. Doesn't bode well for the 17 miles I'm intending to run tomorrow afternoon ... However, I will be able to roadtest my new Camelbak Octane backpack - a bigger container than my waist pack to prepare me for a marathon with one (1!) water station.. Sometimes the gizmos keep me going I think..

Having said that, this morning I went out without my watch and footpod - just ran what I know to be 4 miles - and sometimes it feels great not to be measuring myself all the time, just to run for the running. Ironically, I think I ran it well within 40 minutes which makes it an unintended pace run. Oh well .. unlikely to happen tomorrow.

Other than that little to report - life is still busy and I'm sleeping marginally better. Lots going on and I'm generally too psyched to sleep so still - relaxation tips more than welcome from anyone out there. The honesty of this blog is outlined by my picture above - part of me questions my putting that unflattering picture up there but hey ho - that's what i look like when i don't sleep long and it's 6 am.

Happy running and stay with it everyone.

week 10!

Week 10 of marathon training - I'm past the halfway point. It's going fine I think.. In all honesty, I probably could have been a bit more assiduous with the training - I'm skipping some of the strength work and, when tired, am taking the cross training days off - but I did that when I trained for Chicago and it worked out OK. My first marathon training schedule (for NYC 2005) was much too intense for the standard I had at the time, and I arrived at the marathon exhausted from all my training. Roughly following Hal Higdon seems to work, for the moment, and at the moment seems to fit in with the rest of my life. Because as most runners will know - it's not always easy to prioritise training when there are so many other demands on our time and attention..

However, look at this gorgeous drawing I found on my daughter's desk the other evening. Before you think I run over bodies to achieve my goals, my daughter reassures me the figure on the ground is a doll (?). But I just think it is amazing that she sees me like this - I still sometimes can't get over that I have changed my life so incredibly from 4 years ago and yet, looking at this picture, it's real and it's happened and my daughter is growing up with an active, fit mother and doesn't even know what a chubby couch potato I used to be! So I have to say that this sort of thing does confirm that I'm doing the right thing by running and that I am entitled to take the time - even if sometimes it means I can't be with my family - because when I am with them I am so much healthier, happier and fitter than I would otherwise have been.. Not to mention that both of my children like to come out running with me (for short distances) and think that exercise is part of everyone's life. What a great expectation for them..

Finally, what a difference some sleep makes. After last week's post I promised myself it was in everyone's interest to be a bit more firm and persistent with my son and - cross my fingers - things have improved. He slept till 7 this morning and life just feels a lot better.. Which is good because I'm heading into the really hard work this week - got my 10K race this weekend and so have got to decide where to move Sunday's 17M to.. It's either going to be Friday afternoon or Wednesday afternoon, and I'm saving up all my podcasts this week..

Till then, happy running!

Too tired to run..

After yesterday's happy post had a little less of a good time today. I said that I've been sleeping badly - it's not so much the sleeping badly as the waking early that is beginning to get to me. I seem to wake up at around 5 / 5:30 with my head spinning with arrangements, plans and to-do lists. Felix has been waking up really early as well and so I'm kind of anticipating his coming into our room, so it's all been a bit exhausting. And today it caught up with me - after one lap (1.4 miles) I simply had no juice left in the box. All used up.

So what to do? Well, I've kind of accepted the early starts. I go through this from time to time and as long as I steer clear of caffeine in the afternoon and evenings and stay on the wagon, I can cope. Getting Felix to stay in his bed takes some concerted effort - hard to muster when you're tired which is how I get into these vicious circles to begin with - but I'm going to have be stricter with myself and just patiently take him back to his room until his rabbit clock tells him he's allowed out of bed (if you're fortunate enough to live a life which does not include a clock with rabbit ears and eyes which "wakes up" when the alarm says so - count your blessings and ask no further). And as for me - earlier bedtimes I guess.. I have no problem with falling asleep anytime from 7:30 in the evening but there's just so much to do! And then it's nice to have an hour to talk to my husband without being interrupted by the phone or the kids and before I know it it's 10:30 again and I'm still not in bed. So - that's going to be my strategy. I'll hopefully manage another 4 tomorrow morning. Then it's a rest day on Friday, 5 miles at race pace on Saturday and 11 miles on Sunday. It should all be do-able, provided I get some sleep...

Looking ahead got a big week of running next week - it's the Lincoln 10K next Sunday and in that week I've somehow got to wedge in a 17 miler as well. As I'm working my last few days in this temping job next week my schedule's kind of crowded but I might be able to do it on Friday after work - a couple of hours running should sort me out. And this should force me not to push it too much during the 10K 2 days later..

Finally - drumroll and general shouts of excitement - I'm going to be interviewed for the Fitness Rocks podshow! I've been a fan of the show for some time. On the show Monte Ladner, a doctor, usually picks a topic in the area of health and fitness and then reviews medical studies about this topic. The topics range from heart disease in women to the benefits of pomegranate juice and green tea - and far beyond. To me the refreshing thing about his show is that, because he discusses legitimate medical studies, you get a detailed and accurate point of view about topics which are often "dumbed down" in the media. Dr Monte is a great fan of what he calls the Mediterranean diet (by which he means, put simply, a diet high in fruits, vegetables, pulses and grains and low in salt, sugar and processed foods). If you're interested drop me a line and I'll send you some pdfs he's sent me about the Mediterranean diet and healthy foods. In addition, he's a great believer in exercise and maintaining fitness, for physical and mental reasons. A couple of weeks ago he asked for e-mails from people who have effected a lifestyle change in their life and, having gone from being an 85 kg couch potato to a 61 kg runner I shared my story with him. So I'll let you know how it goes and when it goes out!

I'm sort of nervous about it but I would like to do it because changing my lifestyle has had such an enormous benefit for my life in so many way. If listening to my story can help one person feel that they too can do it then I'm quite happy to get past my nerves. Because it's true - if I can do it, anyone can..

In the meantime, if any of you have any fixes for falling back to sleep once waking up (and no I will not do Tylenol PM and a glass of wine at 5:30 am) please send them onto me.

Till then, happy trails and sleep well (well, better than me anyway..)

Good morning

Wow! For the first time in months - it must have been since September - I went for an early morning run. I've been sleeping pretty badly these past few weeks and waking up very early (not helped by my son's sudden early risings) but I've noticed how much lighter it seems all of a sudden and this morning, while I was tossing and turning at 5:45 I thought I might as well get out of bed and do something useful. So out I went and I was rewarded with a beautiful morning and a great 4 miler. As long as the weather holds I'm quite happy to get my runs in in the morning. Life is pretty busy at the moment - all sorts of exciting developments - so I love starting with a run (in the sun?) to get my mental ducks in a row before I dive into the day...

Happy trails all!

My thoughts, opinions and ramblings these past few running days...

On Thursday, I was meant to run the route for the Lincoln 10K with my friends Sally and Rachel but, unfortunately, there was a mix up in e-mails and I ended up waiting for them for 30 minutes in a car park before setting out, very halfheartedly, into a cold and dark Lincoln by myself. I had no idea where the route was - was relying on Sally - but I ran into them after about a mile. By this stage I'd gotten so cold that I decided to turn back and head home with them and try again tomorrow. I was a bit dispirited - I'd been counting on that run - but then, clearly, not quite ready to just run the 10K route myself. Let's say the moment had passed.. Anyway - I got home and felt a bit down and was ready to pick a fight. Instead of heading towards the bottle of white wine or a bag of crisps, however, I decided that, as I had so much (negative) energy in me I might as well clean up. The house is a mess - the decorator has suddenly and unexpectedly descended on us and most rooms are dusty and chaotic. As the job has only just started, there is little I will do about the dust (who am I kidding?) but I decided to organise myself and the house. And you know what? I felt a great deal better having cleared the piles of laundry and assorted "stuff" that had accumulated on tables, counter tops, windowsills and shelves.. My head was a bit straighter as well.

Since then, the running has been good. 7M on Friday - at pace! - and 4M on Saturday - at pace again! Not a mean feat if you can see the mud I'm running in at the moment. The weight of my shoes after a run is incredible - there's a whole extra shoe of mud attached! Then yesterday 15M (again, with my seemingly indefatigable friend Sally) which went quite well as well - I was, however, exhausted by the time I was done. Thankfully we had a quiet day at home with the kids - I could have dropped down and fallen asleep at any point but managed to hold off until I crawled into bed at 8:30 for an early night. I even managed 30 mins on the cross trainer this morning before starting the day. One of the things I've been thinking about in my runs over the past days is how I'm running a hilly, off-road marathon in just over 2 months. Off-road is no problem - I live off-road - but hills are trickier. There are slight inclines on my route but there is nothing like the elevation I'm going to encounter during the race. So I've resolved to do some hill training, particularly on my cross trainer as I can push it hard without killing my knees. We shall see. I felt pretty negative about the race earlier this week - I was wondering whether I actually had it in me - but I've pulled myself together now and have resolved to give it my best. I like running races and this one is going to be so different from the earlier ones - so quiet, for one thing - that I just need to experience it. Talking to Adam has helped me sort out my attitude towards the competitive element as well - I'm not going to focus so much on a PB as on having a great race. So watch this space!

In other news, it looks like I'm going back to work! Since giving up full-time work when my daughter was 1 I have done various odd jobs (mostly web-design related) and have tried my hand at various courses and degrees but I think that, until very recently, I wasn't really ready to do any of it very seriously. Now, however, with Felix's operation behind us and the prospect of him going to school in September I'm beginning to look eagerly towards the next phase. And it looks like the universe has delivered some interesting work - perfect for me. A few weeks ago I was saying to my mother that I really would like a freelance career with work that called both upon my technical interest and my editorial interest and hey - boom - I've been given that opportunity! So I'm thrilled with that and will let you know how it progresses. In the meantime, I've been trying to be a bit more organised at home and with the kids, to free up physical and mental time to focus on the future. These are going to be interesting times for us all and I am so excited about it all.

no longer running alone

At least not all the time.. Not too long ago I did all my running on my own. I did all my marathon-training by myself, mainly running 1.4 mile laps round our farm. It was great and I enjoyed it - when you're a more or less full-time mother 45 minutes on your own every day is a pleasure for everyone. I got the chance to think, to work things out and also just to zone out - and I would often come back having resolved something I was struggling with without ever actually having focused on it. Weird but wonderful.

Recently however, I have started running with others. First when I joined my running club and then latterly when one of my friends from the running club (the extremely talented Sally) started to join me on some of my long runs. This past Sunday she joined me for my 14 miler (remember, this woman had not run more than 6 miles 3 weeks ago!) and it was wonderful. I was tired and would have really struggled on my own. I'm not sure I would have actually completed the run.. With Sally to talk to I managed. And not only that, I came out of the run with all sorts of ideas and inspiration. It was just great! I was talking to Sally about how she was doing so well at the moment and I, very carefully, suggested she might consider running a marathon in future. This is not because I think everyone should - I'm not one of those runners who only respects the marathon - but because she is so unusually gifted in her running. This is someone who would probably qualify for Boston without even trying. I know, I know - I could hate her but she's too nice. Anyway - she confessed she's already been on the NYC marathon site! So we decided we might run the 2008 NYC marathon together with another friend from the running club, along with anyone else who would like to join us. Details yet to be confirmed, but what an exciting prospect on the horizon.

And then today I had another amazing joint run. This time I met Adam Tinkoff, host of the Burning Twenty podcast and blog. I have been listening to his podcast since early 2006, when he started his quest to burn 20 pounds. His podcast is a true audio diary - you get Adam talking you through what he's done, what he's enjoyed, what's been hard and then you get his thoughts on all sorts of things that are happening to him in his life. He travels a lot and records some of his podcasts on the go (episode 52 from Sydney, for example, just transports you to the City - you can imagine the views, the people and even the smells and foods from the streetmarket he visits). His podcast, I think, really embodies the strenghts of podcasting - it's direct, it's honest and it is true. Meeting him was amazing! Having listened to him for so long I felt like I really knew him and he, of course, knew very little about me. We talked for about 2 hours (was that right Adam? I think that's how long it was) and it was incredible. We covered so many topics - from running (dah!) to other podcasts to our lives and our careers and our beliefs and views - it was so interesting. He's given me a lot of thoughts to consider on those days when I still run by myself. He's a kindred spirit and an incredibly inspiring person - it was a great pleasure to actually meet him.

And so, with very little awareness of time creeping up I find myself halfway through week 8 of marathon training - very nearly halfway there. The really hard (hitting) weeks are just around the corner now. This weekend I'm doing a 15 miler on Sunday and then a few weeks later we've got the 17, 18 and two 20 milers. How am I feeling about it? I am looking forward to the long runs - I generally do. Am I going to break any records? I very much doubt it. With one thing and the other I don't think I've given marathon training 100%. I always seem to get better towards the end - how unusual - and as long as I can get round I will really enjoy this race. Last year at this time - 5/6 months after my autumn marathon - I was still half on, half off, injured etc. - at least this time round I seem to be able to cope with the training. And with all this company I'm getting, the training is far more fun as well..

Till next time. Happy trails!

it's been a while..

It really has been a while since I've blogged.
I seem to have been unable to sit down long enough and concentrate to write anything. Even as we speak I'm twitching and thinking of other things I should be doing. Given that I'm unlikely to actually do them if I get up from this laptop I'm going to force myself to stay seated and produce something publishable..

Thankfully, I'm still running. I've been following my marathon training plan fairly diligently - I've had to miss the occasional day here and there but I've been rigorous about the long runs, the pace runs and the semi-long runs - only missing the occasional cross training session or short run. Not great but acceptable. In week 7 now and feeling good. Particularly as I've just run a half-marathon this past Sunday and set a PB of 1:58:30 (beating my previous PB of 2:05:49 which I set 2 years ago in Leeds). I ran it with a friend from my running club, Sally. Sally is relatively new to running but a born talent. A few weeks ago she asked me if I'd join her for a 10miler as she'd never run more than 6 miles and was nervous about heading into double digits. So one rainy Saturday morning she and I trudged along a dual carriageway and ran over 10 miles in 1:45 (and that included two toilet breaks). I was thrilled with our time and her pace - she is naturally at least a 9 minute miler which is a step up for me.. Given that she seemed to have no trouble with our run, I encouraged her to run a half with me. So Sunday
found us on a cold and windy airfield south of Lincoln (at RAF Cranwell) for the Sleaford half. It was a well organised race - an amazing amount of marshalls for such a small (sub 500) field. Mostly on quietish roads, it also included a challenging and muddy bit of off-road running which slowed us down but also provided a bit of variation. Sally paced me well - we fell into a hard but manageable pace of around the 9 minute mile and stayed pretty consistent along the way. During the last mile, I could feel that we were going to beat the 2 hour mark if we pushed it so I broke away from her and forced myself to the finish line - I needn't have done this because Sal was right behind me at 1:58:51. An amazing achievement for her in so many ways - given that she had never run more than 6 miles 2 weeks ago it is incredible. She came third in her age group as well - a very impressive performance. It was a new and very enjoyable experience to be running the race with someone - up until now I've always trained on my own and run the races on my own but I am enjoying the company. Particularly when it spurs me on to work that bit harder!


So in the next few weeks I'm going to concentrate on just being consistent with my training plan and not missing any more days. My long run is 14M this week which should be do-able, strangely enough I'm quite looking forward to the prospect of trudging through the rain, listening to my iPod. So keep checking in - I've now broken my bad habit of February and hope to be able to do better in March.

Slight change of strategy

Slight change of strategy. Life took over last week and I didn't get all my runs in and I realised I was crazy trying to get ready for a 20 miler in 4 weeks when I haven't run further than 6 in three months.. I was putting so much pressure on myself to accelerate through a training schedule that a knee pain I haven't felt in years emerged and that's when I realised I had to stop and be sensible.

So, my reasoned response is to pull out Stamford and instead I've entered the White Peak marathon in May. It's a totally different marathon from NYC and Chicago. Only 200 entrants, run on trails (though not very difficult ones, apparently road shoes are fine), very few water stations and not many spectators. However, the scenery should be pretty spectacular - Derbyshire is beautiful - and I just love being in that area. I'm going to try and not pressurize myself time-wise - I just need to get past the 10M point by 2 hours as they pull you off otherwise - there aren't enough people marshalling to be able to deal with the slowpokes, apparently. If I can cruise at 1o minute miles I should be fine though. So I'm going back to Hal Higdon's intermediate I programme and doing the cross training properly this time as well as some strength and hill training (thanks for that tip Terry - I've been quite lax on that in the past and particularly for this marathon it's going to be really important).

In the course of my training I'm planning a few shorter races - perhaps the Sleaford half (if my knee is recovered) and the Lincoln 10K. Going back to the knee - I hope that it can be remedied with new shoes. I've been running in my Asics Gel Kayanos which I love but which I think are just a tad too unsupportive. I went back to an old pair of Brooks Adrenalins today and the pain was much alleviated. I think I've done more than 500 miles in both pairs though so as soon as there is a glimmer of light in my financial darkness I shall invest in something new.

Went to our local running shop on Friday to buy my husband some running kit - yes! - and they introduced me to the concept of Skins - this amazing compression clothing which they say has a marked effect on your recovery rate. I'm quite tempted by a new pair of tights - I spilled bleach down my one pair and they're looking pretty grim now - but hoo ha! the price! 60 pounds for a pair! Anyone out there tried them and reckon they're worth it? I'm very willing to be convinced but need some independent support.. In the meantime, it's not been too cold to run in shorts yet so I'm fine, if a tad blue.

Right - schedule begins tomorrow. Cross training and weights. So I'm going to do 30mins on my crosstrainer (I'll try to do 6K in that time) and then do weight and resistance. After listening to Adam Tinkov of Burning Twenty I decided to invest in some weights and a resistance band - I will keep you posted on progress or lack thereof. I'm somewhat daunted - it all looks amazingly serious for me - but hey - 4 years ago I had never run more than a mile so maybe I can manage some light weights and some exercises. I am always stumped by the enormous amount of things I have to remember at the same time with exercises - when to breathe, what to relax, what to tighten - my brain starts to panic - but I'm really going to try this time. I might even post some pictures if I can manage to make it all look faintly credible.

Off to bed now after an alcohol-free night - oh, the thrills of being an athlete...

on to the next challenge - 20M in 5 weeks!

My running has been a bit lacklustre recently - although I've maintained about 5 runs a week of about 45 mins, I haven't run for more than an hour since the marathon and running has slipped a bit in my list of priorities over the past month. Now that my son is well again and he and my daughter are back at nursery / school, it's time to ramp things up again..

To kick things off, my friend Stephen has suggested we run the Stamford 30K on February 11th. This is aimed at London marathoners, I guess, though even for them it's early on to be doing 20M races, let alone for someone like me who hasn't gone very far for quite some time. A good indication of how slack my running has become is that I haven't used my heart rate monitor / distance measurement thingie since Chicago either..

Anyway - it'll get me moving and I'll decide closer to the date whether I'll actually go through with it. I can always just diesel it - they've got pacing teams this year going as far back as (gasp) 11 minute miles so I'll just hook up with them and chug in, eventually. Steve Phedippidations Runner did a great podcast recently, attacking the points a writer made who criticised the slower runners in marathons. Being a back to mid packer myself, I wholeheartedly agree with him. Am running the race with 2 men though so I imagine they'll be psyching each other up to go all out. Oh the joys of being a woman and just being able to ignore all that..

As far as a schedule goes, ominously, there is no schedule I can find starting today which gets me to 20M in 5 weeks (I wonder why?..). So I'm just going to follow Hal Higdon's Intermediate II schedule which I think has me running 14M by that Sunday. I'm going to try to be a bit more diligent about the cross training days - when I used Intermediate I last year I tended to take Mondays (cross training days) off as well as Fridays. I have a cross trainer so I might as well use it. Additionally, Hal's schedules don't include speedwork and while this suits me (I hate it and am bad at it and tend to get injured doing it) I could do speedwork on the crosstrainer which is much less impact and so get some of the benefit without the damage.. A thought, anyway..

So today - ha! - the schedule has me on for a rest day. Won't do that though, I'm going to do yesterday's 3M run. Hardly taxing, even for a slightly post-christmas / stress heavier, lazier me..

What a year! And then 2007...

It's been such a weird month - running and otherwise. I've actually managed to get quite a lot of running in, particularly towards the end of the month. No long runs, but daily 45 minutes which is kind of my maintenance running when life is too busy to prioritise running or even choose and focus on a schedule. Not every day - some days I've just been tired to do anything.

Looking back, it's been a crazy month. My brave sick, then recovering son has been with me for the past 5 weeks without much of a break. We had lots of family and friends with us for Christmas and New Year and there was lots of cooking to do in this time. Very little time for myself but then, after the harrowing time in hospital, it was good to be at home having fun and time with everyone. At times, the pressure of cooking yet another meal or unloading yet another dishwasher got too much, but most of the time I was able to remind myself that I wanted this and that I really enjoy looking after everyone. However, without my runs (particularly on Christmas Eve, Christmas day and boxing day) I would have gone nuts. 45 minutes alone with my iShuffle and Steve Runner or other running podcasts and I was restored.

And now January - the time to settle back to normal. I used to hate it when my mother said that life should go back to normal, but maybe it's age - I now realise that it's a good thing. I'm back down to London tomorrow with my son, hopefully for the last time for a while. He can then (hopefully) go back to nursery a few days a week, I'll get some time back to myself to sort myself out and my running will come properly back on track again. It needs to because, for one thing, this holiday season I have really packed on the pounds. The combination of available sweet things (normally I don't keep temptation in the house), tiredness, alcohol and excessive emotionality have led to some serious overeating sessions and I am now 5 pounds heavier than I want to be. Aarrgghh. Time to prioritise healthy living and healthy running and leave that champagne alone for a while..

Goals for 2007? A marathon, probably in autumn, though I'm not sure which one. I'd like to go out to the States again for one, but I'm not sure about doing another big city one. I'd quite like to do a smaller one. There's one in October in Maine on Mt. Desert Island which is seriously tempting. Otherwise, if I'm being sensible, I might run one in the UK, and possible the Nottingham Marathon in September. The only reason I have avoided running one locally in the past is that it is such an enormous deal / effort to get oneself trained up for a marathon and if you run one locally I just know I'm going to come home to a pile of ironing and cooking supper - anticlimactic when compared to drinks at the Waldorf (after the New York Marathon) or champagne in our hotel room (after the Chicago marathon). Still - the upside is that I could get loads of supporters to come and watch and encourage, and that I could save my money for my friend Dawnie's 40th birthday trip to Napa Valley in 2008.. Other races I'm running are a St. Valentine's 30K (I think, even though it's quite a hard course and quite hard core - everyone running it is very fast) and the Lincoln 10K (my local race and I'm raising money for my daughter's school this year).

So now, all I have to do is train. Next post will be on my schedule - I'm going to do some research in the next few days and decide on how to train this season. Also, now I'm with a running club I can discuss this with my fellow runners (and not bore all my non-running friends).

Happy new year to everyone!

quick update

A quick update from London. I'm piggybacking on someone's open network at the moment and I never know how long this is going to last for. I have had some amazingly supportive and heartfelt messages from others after my blog was featured on Steve Runner's goofly little podcast, Phedippidations. Yet another benefit of running and the internet - a worldwide community. But seriously - it's very moving to feel good karma coming from all over the world.

My son is doing well. It has been a harrowing week for all of us but things are beginning to look up. His surgery went well, his doctors are pleased and his prognosis is very good. He is being operated for some major bladder problems and this could be his last operation. Fingers crossed. At nearly 4, he has been incredibly brave and strong and has coped with everything that has come his way in an amazing fashion. He is still in some considerable pain at times, but seems to be coping well and improving. It has been heartbreaking for us as parents at times - it is unbelievably hideous to see your child suffer. But he has, to borrow Steve Runner's phrase, a truly indomitable spirit and, minutes after suffering a terrible bladder spasm, will be making jokes and playing with his cars.

While it has not been a pleasant experience and we would have been happier without it, it has been quite a moving time at the same time. Friends have been incredibly supportive, showing up and spending hours with us at the hospital, deluging us with text messages and support. Strangers have sent me messages of support (see above) which have been incredibly hearfelt and warm. My son is staying at Great Ormond Street Hospital, a world famous children's hospital which treats children with all sorts of rare diseases. Being here has made us appreciate our own health and how lucky we are that Felix is nowhere near as sick as some of the children here. It is a strange microcosm to spend time in but seeing the dedication and devotion of all of the staff and the incredible courage of the children in facing a frequently unpleasant reality has been very humbling and perhaps a very good insight, particularly at this time of year.

Finally - running. I'm running to and from hospital every morning and night, at about 6:30 am and 8pm. It's not a long run, 20 minutes, but it's blissful even in smog and traffic. 20 minutes to switch off and disengage - it's been wonderful. I feel that, perhaps bizarrely, running is giving something back to me. I have put a lot aside to run in the past - I've followed schedules and stuck to all sorts of regiments. But now I've got this habit which is really helping at a time of stress, and I'm thrilled with it.

So long, for now. Run long, and enjoy the fact you are able to and the quality of life running can give you!

running to stay on top..

The past week has not been great for running. As I've mentioned, my 3 year old son needs to go to hospital for an operation and this has all come up rather suddenly. We are delighted that he's having this operation - he needs it - but obviously, apprehensive about it, worried for him, and the practicalities of leaving my life behind for 2 weeks in December are also a bit overwhelming..

However, we're nearly there now - we set off for London today and then he will go into hospital tomorrow. And - I've packed my running gear. Hanging around hospitals 24 hours a day is draining and I'm hoping to be able to get out for 45 minutes and have a run most days, just to blow the stress and tiredness out of my head.. It's one of the things I love most about running - the ability to just lace up my shoes and go. And usually, whatever the run or the weather, I feel a lot better by the time I get back. So I'll probably not be blogging for a week or 2 but will definitely be running...

Still very little juice

Whether I started running again too quickly after Chicago, or whether I'm just tired - I'm not sure but I'm definitely not up to standards at the moment. I managed a good 45 minutes yesterday (in the driving rain and knee-deep in mud - there is something about very unpleasant conditions that seems to work for me) but this morning 30 minutes was all. It's not that anything hurts - it's just that I seem to wear out very quickly. I am tired, I think. Also a bit disappointed as I was going to run a cross-country race today but my son was ill so I felt I should stay home with him. There’s a sickness bug going round and I just hope that today’s illness won’t prevent his admission to hospital next week…. I suppose I should surrender to the universe here, whatever will be will be.

Going back to running – looking back on what I’ve written I think that regardless of why I’m so tired – poor health or lack of sleep or overtraining or left-over exhaustion from Chicago – I need to take a few days off. Sleep, live healthily and see where that leaves me.

Hopefully my next post will be perkier.. Till then, happy running!

You get out what you put in..

After such an ambitious start to the week, running slowed down a bit by the end of last week. I got up at 6:30 to run on Thursday morning but I was shocked to see it was still pitch black outside. I do have a headlight to run with but I don't like it - bumping along tends to compress the springs inside and the batteries lose contact and turn off the light, for one thing - and only really use it during marathon training when darkness is no excuse. The other thing is it just gives me the heebie-jeebies running through the dark, it reminds me of the mildly scary movies which freak me out for months (the Village, in particular) and also the beam reflects the eyes of all the little animals hiding out in the woods and spying on me - very scary stuff.. So, I didn't go out in the morning and that was my moment gone - I had my 3 year old with me for the rest of the day. Friday I spent all day cooking for a dinner party I was hosting that evening and I didn't get a chance to get out either (though probably could have made the time..).

Which brings me to my topic of the day - how your lifestyle affects your running. Normally, I get to bed around 9:30 / 10pm, up at 6/7 am and eat healthy food. I try to moderate my drinking and run pretty much every day. I do adore cooking though and this week I had decided to cook cassoulet for my friends - delicious, wonderful, not too fatty or greasy but nonetheless extremely filling. We had such a good time, drank champagne and lovely red wine and the guests didn't leave till 1. Now for me, this is disastrous. We'd been out on Thursday night (bed at 12) and now this - Saturday morning I was a zombie. Adam had to be out all day, so I dealt with the kids all day - by 4pm I was a wreck. I did try a 15 minute run first thing but I had zero energy. Alcohol, rich food and no sleep do not a marathoner make. Clearly. Sunday was much better - I did my first 1 hour run since the marathon, and now I'm back on track.

But with the Christmas season ahead I can see I have to watch myself. I'm a complete sucker for champagne, and the English are so generous with it at Christmas parties .. I so want to keep my running up in between training programs as well this year - I lost most of the first 5 months of this year to injuries and lack of motivation and I don't want to do that again. Besides, my son is going to London for surgery in a few weeks and I'll be staying with him the whole time - for a stressful period like that it's important that I'm strong, healthy and well-rested. It's going to be hard while I'm in London - I'll be sharing his bedroom in hospital - but I shouldn't compromise things further..

Famous last words? Look - I'm not promising to stay on the wagon for December (that's what January's for) but I'm going to try and keep it steady. Got my first cross country this Sunday - I'll be posting about how that went..

Till then, happy running to all,

Petra

The new leaf is hanging on..

Yesterday's workout with the Lincolnshire and District Runners was another good one - a decent 60 minute run with some speedwork thrown in. Don't like running on the roads and pavements though - it's pretty hairy and we seem to keep running red lights. Memo to self - wait at the lights and use the catchup to the group as extra speedwork..

After last night's exertions I decided to carry on in the new vein and did 25 minutes of hard interval work on my crosstrainer. I bought it last year when I was injured and desperate to keep up my levels of fitness. It's not half as much fun as running and I find it harder work but it's really good for interval work - I think I push myself harder than I would outside, certainly by myself. I put some podcasts on to listen to and went for it and feel the warm glow of exercise success now. I even had the presence of mind to take a photo of my sweaty face a few minutes afterwards..

I feel I'm getting back into the swing of things and am even quite excited about doing more speedwork. I've put it off for so long, feeling that it was something I was awful at but I'm done with that kind of thinking. I didn't think I could run and I've done 2 marathons, so I'm not going to be vanquished by speedwork. I'll never win any medals but that's not going to stop me. Cross country in 2 weeks - only about 6K apparently so I could treat that as a speed session - we'll see.

In the meantime, nice and easy runs tomorrow and Friday, day off on Saturday and then a long run on Sunday. I'm back in the saddle..

A new direction?

3 weeks after the marathon and I'm feeling a bit lost. The marathon is such an absorbing target and there are so many small steps to take in getting to it that you switch off from long-term planning for the duration of the training program - at least I do. I've sort of taken it easy since then, running on and off with little direction or aim. Which is quite nice after so many months of feeling I had to run a certain distance or pace each day, but nonetheless I'm finding that without a plan I'm not doing enough running.. Not enough running to keep the pounds off, my fitness together or my head straight..

So - enough of this. Starting today I'm going back on 45 mins a day, at least 5 days a week. Once a week there'll be Lincoln and District Runners and I'll commit myself to a race with them tomorrow - either relay cross country (which sounds like fun) or something short like a 5 miler somewhere. Speedwork has definitely got to be on the menu now - I think that incorporating it into my weekly running should make a real difference to my speed in longer races.

In other news I sent a picture of my wall of glory (see right) to Catch me if you Can and Terry, the blog owner and host has promised to put it up sometime soon. My wall of glory has all my race numbers and medals on it. It's in my study - in theory my room of the house - so I can sit there quietly admiring myself without irritating the rest of my family. Anyway .. so now I stop writing and start running. After my coffee..

Coda I did it! Hard to believe something like running for 45 minutes could pose as much of a challenge as it did but somehow that was the case.. It's not physically hard, just mentally hard to not stop after 3o minutes. I've been telling myself I needed a break after the marathon - which I did - but I think 3 weeks off is about enough. Back in the saddle now.. Nothing like making a public promise to myself to make me stick to it.

Running with a group

Last night I met up with local running group for the first time. I have resisted running in a group before because I a) enjoyed running alone b) didn't feel I had the time to travel to a meeting point and c) felt I was too slow.. After Chicago I changed my mind. I know I've gone on and on about it but it truly was an amazing experience and it has left me hungry for more. Don't get me wrong - even at 8 months pregnant Paula Radcliffe need not worry that I'm snapping at her heels - but having run so much better than I had thought I could in Chicago, I now wonder whether I really could do even better with some help from other people. Also - much as I love my own company, running with others once a week is beginning to seem quite attractive to me. At least I can talk about running equipment, races, gadgets, podcasts etc. without boring the pants off of my audience, which is what happens to "regular" friends - and I don't blame them for being bored. The stuff I like to talk about to other runners and on running websites basically puts me on a par with trainspotters and car enthusiasts - the intense focus on a single interest is quite creepy and suspect. So - enough self-justification I think.

It was great! We met at a local sports centre and everyone was really friendly. We went out for about 6 miles and did some fairly painful speedwork in the middle. Towards the end one of the guys really goaded me into running much faster than I intended to which was exactly the sort of challenge I was looking for. He also told me about all the races they run and the thought of doing some cross country this winter is actually really appealing. So I'm going to stick with it. They meet twice a week which seems pretty unworkable to me - I'll make one a week I think.

So on I go - into the Christmas season. Just been out for half an hour which was quite a struggle. It never ceases to amaze me that some days I can go out for 2 hours very happily, and the next day 15 minutes will seem impossible.. However, it seems criminal not to run at the moment as the weather is lovely and the farmland round here is just so beautiful. In fact, if I remember, I'll take my camera out with me tomorrow so I can show you what I see when I run.

Keep on running...

The marathon is behind me but the buzz remains..

It's over 2 weeks since I returned from Chicago but life was pretty crazy upon my return and I had to spend some time with my husband and children before I could reattach my umbilical cord to my PowerBook...

In short - I had a fantastic time. The expo, which took place 2 days before the race, was wonderful - if you're a runner and a consumer. My mother and I are both, avidly, so it was just wonderful. All the main sports brands had stalls selling their running gear as well as masses of other brands selling sportsfood, other kinds of food (peanut butter?), hair grips (yes - and they are fantastic) etc. There were all sorts of cool freebies - magnets, stickers, bandaids - we were walking around with huge bags full of booty. Then there were also stands for various other marathons and for some running writers - I had a chance to have my Marathon book (which I had used to train with) signed by the author, Hal Higdon. He was lovely and very encouraging. Then I met John "the Penguin" Bingham - the man who set me off running in the first place. He is a slow and awkward runner who gives great support to those of us who are not within sight of Boston qualifying times.. An article written by him on the merits of running slowly was what got me started running 3 years ago and it was great to meet him. He was very kind and friendly and we spent some time talking to him about the marathon and Chicago. At the expo I also signed up for the 4:30 pacing team - these teams are led by local runners who stick meticulously to a given pace so that you can help to pace yourself through the race. I felt quite ambitious signing up with this team but also felt that aiming for a 4:30 finish time was fairly realistic given the pace I'd run in training. The day of the marathon itself started very early (I was bold upright by 5am) and was very very cold. Walking to the start in the dark with my mother the wind was whipping around us and I didn't talk to her about the weather - I didn't want to state the obvious fact of how awful it was..

We mooched around the start in the dark for some time (plenty of time for about 5 nervy visits to the PortaKabins, which I knew I would need) and finally, at 7ish, I said goodbye to her, took off my long sweats and gloves (foolishly) and went into the start corral to look for a pacer. Just as the sun rose the starting gun went off and I set off with my pacing team, incredibly nervous with the realisation of just how cold it was and just how foolish I was to be running in shorts. Unlike NYC, the Chicago marathon goes right through downtown several times and the first couple of miles were easy - there were so many people cheering us on and the buildings blocked most of the wind. Unfortunately, we soon went north and found Lake Michigan and its winds on our right but by then I had warmed up and found my pace and was chatting happily with my pace team leader (a former director of the Chicago Area Running Association, a very famous running group) and various people in my pace team. I was so comfortable with my pace that I refused to be set back by queueing for the very occasional portakabins, so I introduced a desperate fellow (female) runner to the freedom of peeing between cars - she said she was 42 and hadn't peed outside since she was 3. I suppose we all have moments where we have to show others how to live... By 10 miles I felt I was holding back to stay with my pacing team and I decided to go it alone, relying on a fastish long run I had some weeks prior to the race for my pace. It was amazing. By 18 miles I was aware that I was making really good time, but also that it was very cold and I was terrified of cramping up. I decided to keep up the pace, to stay warm if nothing else, and I started very slowly counting to 100 in my head, regulating my breathing and my pace while I was doing this. Each time I reached 100 I started again. By the time I reached mile 22 I was counting out loud and not worried that others could hear me. I was maintaining my pace and that was all I would let myself think - I was aware that my knees hurt, my back hurt, and that my legs and my hands were freezing - but I didn't let myself dwell on any of that, I just carried on counting. I crossed the finish line in 4:17:32 - faster than I had ever dared hope. Admittedly, last year's time was nothing astounding but it was wonderful to set a new personal best by improving my time by 38 minutes...

As a result, I never saw my team of fans - my mother, Jeff and Brian and John who had trekked all over Chicago to see me but who obviously did not realise I was going so much faster than I had anticipated. We met each other fairly quickly after the race, however, and they all very patiently listened to my excited tales of the marathon.

On average, my pace was 9:49 minutes per mile. I placed 15909 out of 33,633 contestants in all, was number 4925 out of 14724 women, and placed 901st in my division of 2475 women between 35 and 39. Very cunning that last placement - I turned 35 3 days before the marathon so just made it out of the young gun division in time.. It was such a different marathon from NYC - the cities are so different in look and feel, NYC is a very international marathon and this is very American, and the weather was diametrically opposed - it is impossible to compare them. However, doing better than I had hoped gave me an enormous high and I can still feel it. Running a marathon is such an intense experience psychologically and when it goes well there is very little in life that compares to the sense of physical power and achievement I felt. Having always thought of myself as athletically incompetent it is astounding to myself that I can do this - and I can only conclude that if I can, anyone can. Honestly - had you seen me 3 years ago, 3 stone heavier and so lacking in self confidence, you wouldn't have dared tell me I could be capable of this.

What next? After a rest I will be spending the winter concentrating on speedwork (which I have avoided so far) and building some upper body strength and I will be looking to run another marathon, all being well, next autumn. Suggestions for venues are welcome!