Anyone else got an idea?

2 weeks! It's been 2 weeks since I last posted.. And 6 weeks since I last ran. The two are related. To some extent there is little news to report: I am still injured and still not running.

One of the things that is so difficult about injury (I’m sure Susan will back me up on this) is that everyone has a different opinion on how to treat you or what would be beneficial for you.

My GP was the first point of call. A man who visibly did not put exercise at the heart of his life, his advice was just to “take it easy”. Whatever that meant. I did cut down on my mileage but it didn’t ease the pain. At all.

So then – in this country – you head into the land of private (ie you pay for it) healthcare. There are physios, osteopath, podiatrists and many other options available. How to choose? In my case, I asked some fellow runners and they recommended physio at the local sports injury clinic.

So I went and started to see a physio. He’s good; he’s very dedicated to getting sports people out on the road. I think his initial prescription for me – strengthening my adductors, stretching out my ITB – was based on a general treatment of knee pain in runners. When I went back last week – the third time – and I could still report no progress he suggested I remove all potential stressors of my knee out of my life for a while. So no high heels and, more importantly, no hills. Somewhat reluctantly I have stopped parking my car at the top of Steep Hill (yup)
every day and walking down to work and am, instead, parking at the bottom of said hill and thus, hopefully, avoiding some of the pressure on my knees. I am wearing mostly flat shoes. We then agreed to meet in the gym that evening so he could see me run on the treadmill. He was very surprised to see that when I run I am, in his words, knockkneed. I overpronate considerably and this causes my knees to come together when I run. When he then had me running wide-legged – I felt like I was running while riding a horse if such a thing is possible – the pain immediately diminished. When I asked him what this meant for my recovery program – ie which exercises I should focus on, he had my focusing on exercises to strengthen my glutes. When I asked for his advice on how to run in this way which was far less painful, his answer was “go slow and steady”. His idea is that I start by running in this new way for 5 minutes each day, and build it up. The problem with this suggestion is a) that I’m still suffering from knee pain and b) that it’s very hard, without guidance, to really change how you run. In addition, in the course of the past week I have slowly become conscious that some of the exercises he is making me do may be contributing to the knee pain which has, if anything, got worse since I stopped running. This may be because I’m not doing the exercises right or it may be that we have not yet completely figured out exactly what it is that is aggravating my knee pain and so have not been able to eliminate it from my life (or exercises). Since Thursday, I have, in fact, stopped doing any of the exercises that I felt were hurting me and (touch wood) my knees feel better.. This is sort of good news – no pain is good news – but I am conscious that his initial advice of strengthening my adductors probably still has validity and I’m not quite sure how to go about it without hurting myself. Another appointment is called for.

Based on this lengthy paragraph above it seems quite clear that my pain is related to how I run. So I somehow need to learn how to run better, in a way that won’t injure me. ChiRunning is an option here and as you know I’m working on this. I’m practising my various focuses and exercises in anticipation of a private training session with Chris Griffin next month.

Another way to change the way you run, however, is orthoses. Now I was quite reluctant to go and see a podiatrist. Everyone who goes to see one seems to leave with 300 pound orthoses. But frustrated by my lack of progress and doubtful about my running future (and upset by my physios repeated comments about going to see a friendly orthopaedic surgeon for arthroscopy) I decided it was worth having a try. A local podiatrist is recommended by our local running shop and my friend Sally has been helped by him so I booked in to see him last Thursday. He found all sorts of peculiar things about the way I walk and move and next Tuesday I am booked in for an afternoon’s session where he films me running on the treadmill, will make a cast of my foot and then will make me orthoses which will correct a variety of the problems he thinks I have. Do I think this will help? Well, I obviously hope so. But based on what everyone else has noted there is clearly some issue with the way I move and on the face of it is seems orthotics would change the way my feet move and would therefore change the way everything else moves. We shall see. At any rate the assessment should be valuable and useful and the orthoses are refundable, should they be no use at all. I will then go back to the physio with my issues with my exercises and see what we can come up with which doesn’t hurt me more. Pile Chris Griffin on to that in a month’s time and hopefully this three pronged approach will do some good…

I have so far not consulted an osteopath or any other practitioner – I am overwhelmed with the range of possible treatment options and not quite sure which road to go down. I think I’ve gone down the physio route long enough to be able to try something alongside it, and we will see where that gets me.

I am trying to be brave about not running – the few swimming lessons I have taken so far have vastly improved my front crawl. The time freed up by not running seems to have been seamlessly swallowed up by work and domestic life – I am very behind in commenting and podcast listening. If I haven’t been to your blog recently – I am getting to it. I promise. I miss you all enormously, and I miss the sense of running alongside you all. I really hope I’ll be back again soon..

the injury blahs

I have been suffering the injury blahs this week. I've had enough now. I'm bored with myself. The weather is glorious, spring is erupting and I want to be out there! Running, not walking. Pain-free, not limping. Remember when I lost my mojo? I take it back - all of it. I really really really want to get out there. Now.

But I can't. I've now had a week of non-activity (apart from my 15 minute walk to work and back and general day-to-day stuff). I've had a deep tissue massage. I've been doing my exercises. I can't say that I'm pain-free. I'm still not. Sometimes, for no apparent reason, both knees still hurt. I think that what my physio will say is that until I significantly start strengthening my adductors (which, with daily exercise, should start being noticeable about 4-6 weeks from starting them) I will continue to feel this pain. I know I know. Patience. A little at a time. I'm seeing him on Thursday and I hope that he will tell me to start running again, albeit slowly and carefully (he mentioned walking 4:30 mins, then running .30 minute for 30 minutes total). On the other hand, I will tell him that, in all honestly, the knee pain has not completely disappeared yet so maybe he will recommend more time off.

However, something has to change. My attitude. I have worked hard at being positive, as seeing this as an opportunity to focus on other things, to make this a moment to realise that things such as core strength etc. are really crucial. But dammit - I just really really really really want to run!

I don't think I realised, until the last 2 weeks, how much running was part of my routine. It's how I think of things when I go travelling (where will I run?), it's how I plan my year (which marathons will I run), it's how I catch up with certain friends (Sally) and mostly, it's how I feel good about myself every single day.

However - I know that I've been throwing a pity-party and that is, when all's said and done, pathetic. So I'm grabbing myself by the shoulders and saying "enough". When you actually bore yourself with your whingeing, you really know you've gone too far. I'm there.

So - I will stick to the exercises. I'm going to add some cardiovascular exercises this week - Shirley suggested I swim with a pullbuoy and hoo-ha - that will be good for my bingo wings don't you think? My husband now realises just how unpleasant I can be when I don't run and so has told me that once or twice a week he's fine getting up with the kids and taking them to school so I can go to the pool and swim. He is ABSOLUTELY not a morning person so that really is telling you something about how nice he is and just how unpleasant I can be. So pullbuoy swimming, careful elliptical training and my core exercises should hopefully, eventually, put me in a position where I can return to running stronger and wiser. There is always hoping, right?

Finally - I have found some silver lining in all these clouds. 2 years or so ago I took a course in ChiRunning with Danny Dreyer in London which was fantastic . Danny is an inspirational man and his techniques make a lot of sense. I did not find it easy and have obviously let things slip in the past few years. However, I now have a major impetus (i.e injury) to wish to learn to improve my form. I am heading out to the bay area in April to help my best friend celebrate her 40th and it just so happens that one of the best ChiRunning trainers lives in the town where I'll be staying. So I've booked 2 hours of private lessons with him and that is really something I'm looking forward to. So another thing I can do in my time off from running is to start working on the postures and exercises on the ChiRunning DVD.

Finally, finally - I am really hoping that Maritza, Jen and I can hook up for a run while I'm near San Francisco. Although I'm on holiday my days are packed and I think I'm making it difficult for these 2 busy, dynamic running bloggers to fit me in but I hope we can make it and I can blog about it.

So all in all there's plenty to look forward to - I just have to get on with the challenges in the short term. Thank you all for your continued feedback and support - it helps more than you realise!

Down but never out for long..

2 weeks since my last posting - and so much has happened!
Our friend Greg over at Philly to LA on Foot ran his first marathon in New Orleans last week and he came in at 4:53:57 which is fantastic! (And faster than my first marathon Greg!) Well done Greg! What an achievement! And do head on over to his blog to read his fabulous race report.

Then our great online friend and inspiration, Shirley Perley a.k.a the humble triathlete put together a YouTube video as part of her first attempt to get onto Team EvoTri. Sadly she has not got through to the final round - the biggest sadness here is for the team because what an asset this girl would be to any team! However, we can still see Shirley's submission on YouTube and I highly recommend you go and have a look.

As for me - well I am down, out for the count, but not out. In the 2 weeks since I saw my physio and decided to pull out of London I've been trying to work out a way to deal with being sidelined from running. The biggie for me has been denial.. It has basically taken me some time to really accept that I will not be running for a while AND that if I do want to go back to it, I have to work hard at recovery. Once I'd actually put all that on my plate, I decided to go for my recovery with the same dedication I train for races.

When I went back to see my physio this week I discussed the various cross training options I had considered and tried out in the 2 weeks since I last saw him. Cycling? It's out for the minute - the movement is too aggravating on my knees. Elliptical? Hrmmm - okay if it doesn't hurt. I'm being gentle with it - 25 minutes at a low resistance. Running? Because yes my friends, last Sunday I thought I would just go out and try for 2 miles... 1 mile was fine, 2 was painful. And I duly got my wrists slapped by the physio - if I want to get better I have to lay off, for now.. Swimming? I have been out to the pool 3 times in the past week. The problem is that I am not good at front crawl, and breast stroke is (again) too aggravating on the knee.

What I have agree with him is that for the next 2 weeks I will take it very very easy. No running, no cycling. A little bit of elliptical training. And I am joining the Thursday night swimming class at my gym where I will be properly taught how to do front crawl..

This is really really hard guys. Running is my number 1 love, especially on the beautiful crisp mornings we've been having here recently. Other options like cycling and swimming do not yet attract me as much, but they do provide me with the physical release I have come to crave each day. Doing nothing is very very hard. However, my physio told me that every time I do something to aggravate my knee I set my recovery back another week. OK. My aim is to get to my next appointment with him with no pain or swelling. If I have to refrain from exercising for a short while, then so be it.

As I see it, there are 4 elements that I need to focus on in the next 4 weeks:
- strengthening my adductors. I am doing a variety of exercises for this and after some messing around (I am very uncoordinated) I am now doing them right..
- loosening my ITB. I am stretching it as much as is possible and am also getting massage to aid this;
- trying out some orthotics. One of the things my physio has noted is just how much I pronate when I move. This could be one of the reasons my knees are so painful. So he has given me some orthotics to try out. I've been wearing them in my shoes during the day and we will see if this improves things.
- working on my hip. Because yes - a few testing moves from the physio proved how weak the muscles around my hip are. Which is not helping my knees. So I am doing some fairly undignified moves to help this area...

Finally, my physio noted that my kneecap is tilted upwards. This may also be a reason for some pain and so he says that when I can start running again, he will tape across my knee to even up the balance..

And as far as beginning again - somewhere in the next 2 to 4 weeks I really hope that I can begin again - very very slowly. The physio wants to me to start on run-walk program - 4:30 mins walk, 30 sec. run. Again - that will teach me humility don't you think?

But it will all be worth it if I can get back to running again without pain. I am not taking running for granted again - I hope.

I am still hoping to run Chicago and my physio has not discouraged me. If I do an 18 week training program I will need to start the week commencing June 9th. That gives me another 13 weeks to recover from this injury and I am hoping that will work. I can also accept that I may need to train on a beginner schedule rather than an intermediate one, as I will have lost fitness and endurance during this down time. I can (I think) accept it all. Right now, I have every reason to look forward to being on the starting line with Maddy, Melisa and whoever else is brave enough to join us!

Finally - life has been crazy. Work has been crazy. I think that had I not been working at this time, my injury would have become an obsession. Now, with everything else going on, I can only devote so much worry to my injury before moving onto the next concern. Which may well be a good thing. The bad thing is I'm behind on my blogreading and commenting, not to mention podcast listening. I will get to all of your recent posts in the course of the next week, I hope, and I thank everyone for their very kind words and often extremely useful advice.

Over and out..

Last week's 12 miler - while mentally essential - made it very apparent that my knee pain hadn't gone. While it was not too painful while I was out running, I woke up the next morning with a warm feeling behind both of my kneecaps.. Aarggh. Ibuprofen, ice etc. did nothing to take away my nagging realisation that I was indeed injured. Properly. A feeble 4 miles on Sunday firmed it all up - there was something here that was not going away.

You've all been able to follow my avoidance of seeing anyone knowledgeable on the matter. But on Wednesday I finally saw a physiotherapist at our local sports injury clinic. He really took his time checking out my knees, my legs, my feet, my stance and finally, when I was flexing and relaxing my upper leg and he had his fingers underneath my kneecaps you could just see my kneecap moving from left to right. It's not meant to do that folks - it's meant to go just up and down, not across. Why is this happening? Various reasons - tight ITB and underdeveloped muscles on the inside of my knee / leg (adductors?). Fairly typical for a runner, apparently, but also problematic. Apparently the problem has probably been growing for years and now it is really beginning to raise its ugly head. My "hot" knees obviously means there is some inflammation and more than 8/9 mile runs cause pain during and after the run. Of course my first question to the man was what to do about this. The answer is - work on loosening the ITB and strengthening the adductors. How long will this take? 3 months at least, he thinks. My second question to him was, of course, what about running London? Now the guys deals only with sports injuries. He's quite used to people who are training for an event and who want to do these things at any cost. So he said I could run it - if I could stand the pain of training and the race - but it would exacerbate the problem and make for at least a 6 month recovery. And, in his view, if I didn't take the problem seriously soon I was heading for a situation where I a) couldn't run at all and / or b) needed knee surgery. Well - I made my decision there and then to drop out of London. Not an easy one and not lightly made. But, finally, inevitable. Running is for life - I want to carry on doing it for a long time. I have no desire to be in enormous pain doing it, nor do I want to find myself in a situation where I am physically unable to do it. I have to do my thrice daily exercises, my hourly stretches and work on these. He thinks that within a week or two the swelling will have gone down enough for me to be able to slowly add short runs, and to build it up slowly alongside the stretching and strengthening. I will hopefully have other opportunities to run London and am now firmly aiming to be ready to start training, fit and strong, for Chicago this summer.

However. However. I am letting some people down here. Save the Rhino gave me a gold bond place to run the race for them. I vowed to raise money for them and many of you have already made a donation. The money raised has already gone directly to the charity. I do appreciate however, that some of you may feel that if I'm not running the race you would like to divert your sponsorship to someone who is, or to another worthy cause. If you feel that way please e-mail me and I will personally refund your donation.

What a few weeks these have been! I feel battered around by events. And I'm not able to take it all out on the road for the time being. However, I've seen my admirable friend Susan cope with injury and setback and I'm taking her as an example. I WILL do everything my physio says to do, I WILL crosstrain in the meantime and I WILL be back out there on the road. So go out there, enjoy your runs and stay tuned - I think I will need to blog more without the distraction of the exercise I love more than any other..

Why I run..

It was bound to happen.. Let's rewind. Ever since my daughter was 1, I've worked on and off on various studies and freelance projects. Sometimes I did no work for a while, sometimes I had a lot of work on. When I was offered a "proper" job this November - still freelance but in an office, with office hours, I was initially very reluctant to give up what I had. However, I started and found I really enjoyed what I was doing. In the course of the 2 and a half months that I have been in this job I have learned more about my remit and my abilities. In the past few weeks, however, I have begun to feel very overextended. You know when your to-do list is so long that you just can't see how you're ever going to get to the bottom of it? And so much of it needs dealing with "straight away"? So, I've been letting work creep into home life, I've been working Fridays (which was not part of my original arrangement) to just stay on top. Not great but hopefully temporary. All these years out of an office, however, and I had forgotten something. Politics. Office politics. I forgot about office politics until I stepped right in the middle of a big smelly issue. And of course, I didn't realise what was happening until it was too late. I did not have a good day in the office yesterday. I am not proud of it but I felt so awful, so hurt, so upset by it all that I closed my blind, closed my door and cried. I then rang my husband. He was wonderful. His support and love for me is 100% and, times like yesterday remind me how wonderful this best friend of mine in life is. And he told me to get my tears out and then to get tough. And I did. No-one else saw me cry - in the sad world of office politics, that would have been a strike against me - and then I took action. And then I went and picked my children up from school (and for once the tiredness and bickering was wonderful - at least it was out there) and then I went home and ran a long run. 12 miles. I was intending to do 15 but I ran the last hour or so in the dark and tripped twice at the end (it gets very dark on the farm and my headlight has a small beam) and I decided it was enough for the day.

I ran and I ran. I got all my tears out and then all my anger out. I was reminded of how powerful the feeling of being wronged is and to show more understanding to my children when they feel it. I ranted, I raved and then I settled into my run. 5M of podrunner and then I settled into podcasts - Steve Runner, Nik and Dan, the other runner, Dr Monte - and got calm. By the time I came back in I was ready for my friday night and my weekend. No work today, or tomorrow. It can all wait till Monday.

My knee... however. While it was fine on my run - I felt it but nothing bad, and all last week I distinctly felt an improvement - it's sore today. I was going to head out for 7 but I think I'm going to listen to my doctor (for once) and give it a rest today. See where I am tomorrow. Where that leaves me I'm not quite sure. I am meant to be doing 17 by the end of this week - we shall see. I think I will see if I can fit in a visit to my osteopath this week..

Run long my friends, and strong, and see you in Chicago this October?

Back on track?

It's not been a great running week, as you can imagine. After thinking about it carefully I decided not to see my osteopath before I saw my doctor about my painful knee - I just wanted to get a more independent point of view first..

So I didn't run Monday and Tuesday and then went out for a cautious 3 on Wednesday. Mildly painful.. Thursday I did 4 - again, I knew about my knee. Friday I finally saw my doctor. Now one of the doctors in our practice is a marathoner and I was hoping to see her but I was out of luck - I saw a more sedentary type. However, the news is not bad. Apparently my pain is some form of runner's knee, in a different place from where I had it before, but nonetheless it all seems quite similar, according to him. He thinks the very different movements of skiing followed by a hard workout just overloaded my tendons and something in there is swollen and irritated. His advice - don't overdo it but you don't have to stop..

And, to be honest, the pain is diminishing. It's still there but it's not stopping me from running. I did 10 yesterday with Sally and it was fine - I stopped for a few walkbreaks but still, generally, felt fine. I occasionally felt my knee but nothing to bother me seriously.

OK. Where does that leave me? I've got 10 weeks to go and was, actually, intending to just do the last 10 weeks of old Hal's intermediate I program. I think what I might try this week is to switch the weeks around and do a step back week this week, keeping the mileage conservative. After yesterday's 10 I'm moving the 7 miler to the end of the week and will do 4, 5, and 4 between now and Thursday. By then I should hopefully get a good indication of whether the pain really is diminishing and whether I'm getting past it. Cross your fingers and all else for me?

Finally - there's nothing like not being able to run to make you appreciate running or you, my running blogging friends. Thank you for your support, interest and understanding - it really did help me. I, foolishly, believed myself to be past injury because I had not been injured for so long. Contemplating not being able to run this week really made me realise how much I love it and how much I need it.. Work is enjoyable but intense and demanding and domestic demands can be overwhelming too. There's just nothing like heading outside after a day's work and getting everything out of my system and into perspective.. And then coming home, reading your blogs and writing my own. It's amazing how much it's all part of my life now!

And finally finally - I just wanted to post this picture of me and another great running buddy, my mother. Just before going to Jackson Hole we went for a run together (my parents came over to look after our children while we were away). So here we are after a fun run together.

Oh no!

Oh no! My knee!

After yesterday's long run - which felt fine and left me tired and a bit muscle sore, but nothing I didn't expect - I woke up this morning to sharp pain in my kneecap. I walked around in the morning hoping that warming it up might help - nope. It hurts to bend my leg when I walk, it hurts to go up and down stairs. Of course - being a mad runner in marathon training - I decide that maybe a run will make it better. And amazingly, for a little while, it seems to. I think I'd been unconsciously keeping it tight, so warming up loosened it. But the pain remained. And after 4.5 miles of the 7 miler I intended, I had to stop. And so I stopped. I iced it and am ibuprofening it. Tomorrow morning I am ringing my osteopath - he's a sub 3hr marathoner and very unlikely to tell me to stop running. Moreover, although it feels different, I have had patellar tendonitis in the past and he helped, quickly.

So what it is, I don't know. I hope I can see the guy tomorrow and at least find out what's wrong and what to do. How it happened, I don't know either - I didn't feel anything yesterday or on any other running days. It's really sudden. Here I've been so smugly telling everyone who asked (because they always ask don't they "won't your knees go sometime?") that since my ChiRunning course I've not suffered an injury.. Oh well. Pride before fall and all that.

Will keep you all posted..

I'm back!

I'm back! I came back to calm and organised kids, a calm and organised house (thank you so much to my parents), crushing jetlag and an overflowing inbox. My google reader had well over 100 posts for me to read - y'all didn't stop did you? What a lot of news! MarathonChris and her husband completed their first marathon together (and Chris, finally, gets to take a break), Maddy did 2 half marathons (one to train for the other I think? That IS dedication), Susan went skiing and then discovered (not related to skiing) that she had really hurt her foot and needed to take a long break (but hey - she's taking up biking instead), Shirley is back in the blogging saddle with an ambitious plan (which I know she'll accomplish), Terry - goodness Terry! - has done more tidying up and cleaning than I thought possible, Melisa is back to running, Kevin and Maritza have gone crock-pot crazy (as have I, more of that later), Jen is posting some amazing times and will do fantastically in Boston at this rate, Drusy is training hard for London, Nik and Dan are back to running after Nik's emergency appendectomy and CewTwo needs some encouragement to get him out to run a marathon. And for those of you I haven't mentioned - I'm still catching up!

First of all - our holiday was fantastic. I had no idea how stunning Wyoming is - it's gorgeous and empty. The skiing was fantastic as well - feet of snow and lots of fresh untracked powder. The last time I skied I was not very fit so I really noticed the difference this time - I had 4 days of lessons and was told that next year (yes I hope so) I would be able to move up to Expert level! Yes! I feel very confident on the double blues and occasional blacks that I did, as well as on the moguls and in powder. It's a fantastic feeling to be able to go up a mountain and basically feel able and willing to go down most slopes. Of course, this was in no small part due to some great skiing instructors (this one here on the right was the amazing Jimmy) who both gave me confidence and pushed me and also taught me to control my speed and become a more technically accomplished skier. I had one big fall (nothing broken, just some impressive bruises, a bit of whiplash, a lost (and later found) cellphone and some newfound respect for the mountain) but otherwise was fine. And of course life off the piste was good too! First came the hot tub (with complimentary hot chocolate and s'mores - hmmmm) and then a bit of a chill-out in our gorgeous room and then a visit to the various bars and restaurants in Teton Village and Jackson Hole to eat. One night we met up with my ski instructors and some people in my class and tried out the Shotski - it takes a great deal of co-ordination and practise to all down a shot of Jagermeister at the same time! No small skill indeed. On our last day we took a snowmobiling trip into Yellowstone to see Old Faithful - it was very very cold but very beautiful. We saw moose, bison and Old Faithful and so much gorgeous scenery -
it was a fantastic day! Now I want to bring the kids and go back when the snow has melted.. we'll see. I didn't do much running - there was a dreadmill in the hotel and I did one 5 miler, a 3 miler and a 2 miler on that but on the whole I relied on the skiing to keep me fit.. I did go out for one outside run - it was just so gorgeous that I bundled up (it was SO cold) and went to find a bike path to run on.
Oh well - I ran 3 miles on the side of the road which was okay - the traffic was light and going slowly so we shared what there was.

So overall - as you can see - a wonderful trip and a wonderful chance to reconnect with my husband, be outside in amazing scenery all day and just enjoy ourselves. We really did. If we can, we will be back next year!

And then we went home. One great thing about leaving your kids at home (with my parents, not alone, I hasten to add) is that you're very keen to go home at the end of your trip. We were all thrilled to be reunited and it's been a hectic week coming back to work and household etc. Being away from home gave me a chance to contemplate some of my work/life balance issues and one of the small steps I've taken is to buy a slow-cooker. So if you have any great suggestions / ideas / recipes / websites - bring it on! I could do with them. Running has been tricky this first week - my jetlag was terrible coming home which means that, unusually for me, I've had a hard time waking up in the morning. Work has been busy, of course, after being away for 2 weeks, and there is so much domestic stuff to catch up on as well...

BUT! Inspired by p.o.m I decided it was now or never this morning and by doing a 1 mile run, 1 minute walk and catching up on my podcasts I managed 14M this morning. Not too shabby eh? So I'm hopefully back in the saddle myself - refreshed and ready for the challenge ahead!

And thank you for everyone with your ideas for rhino headgear - I'm still weighing my options and will show you what I come up with - I promise! Keep running..

Preparation and anticipation..

After all that illness and weakness I'm back in the saddle again my friends. A tentative 2 miler on Monday (with a walk break, how's that for a slow start?) was followed by a 5 miler on new year's day (needless to say, I didn't make it to midnight and was asleep by about 10:30) and then two 3.5 mile runs in the morning on Wednesday and Thursday before work. Although running in the dark at 6am is not my favourite thing I've decided I've got to do it at least on two work days as it is the only way to guarantee I'll get the run in at all. I then took yesterday off and ran 9 today! So a very respectable 23 miles this week which I'm very happy with as a start to training again! Looking back I think I was maybe coming down with this flu before I realised and it might have been part of the reason the 9 milers in December were so tough - today's was fine.

So I'm going to get in a few more runs in the next few days and then on Thursday morning we fly off to Jackson Hole for our skiing vacation. Now I'm no champion skier but I love it. I came late to the sport (a childhood in the tropics offered plenty of compensations, I'm not complaining) but I love the freedom, the speed and the slight scare factor. Also, a childhood with no snow has made me forever excited about it when I see it so just being out there in so much of it makes me really happy. I've been 3 times and every time I've been I've been completely out of shape. This is going to be so very different in that respect, so I'm hoping it will be even better. And yes I will try to keep my limbs attached and unbroken..

Because you've all been great in responding so quickly and so very generously to my fundraising requests! I really really appreciate it - as do the rhinos. It's incredibly touching to receive your donations and good wishes and it makes me more determined to carry on - it really did help on Thursday morning when the snow was blowing in my face and I had to keep looking into it because otherwise my headlight wouldn't illuminate my path. So thank you thank you thank you.

I'm sending out an appeal now to those of you who are crafty. What I would like to make to run the race in is a papier mache rhino head which I can sit on top of my running hat, somehow. Any tips / ideas / inspirations? I can see some fun with wallpaper paste ahead... And if you think this is hard work, Save the Rhino always lends out rhino costumes which are full-length and not designed for running in and 2 fundraisers always run in these. I met two Rhino runners when I ran NYC and saw the costume and believe me - chafing is just the beginning. So what I'm proposing might give me a sweaty head, but it'll be worth it to raise the profile of this magnificent and threatened creature.Run long my friends and enjoy it!

Save the Rhino!

I've done it! Drusy's been at me to do this and I hadn't got round to it but here it is - my fundraising page for the London Marathon 2008 for Save the Rhino. Save the Rhino is a very impressive charity whose aims are:

• To increase the number of rhinos in genetically viable populations in the wild
• To provide financial and in-kind support for projects focused on all five of the rhinoceros species
• To encourage and enable the sharing of information, experience and skills between rhino projects
• To measure and improve the effectiveness of our grant-making activities

Their approach is to:

• employ a pragmatic approach focused on viable populations, and not to be sentiment-driven;
• support the sustainable use of natural resources for the mutual benefit of wildlife, habitat and local communities;
• Save the Rhino does not create or run their own projects in the field; rather, they find rhino conservation projects that they think are doing a good job, and then fund them;
• Save the Rhino prefers to work with projects on a long-term basis, rather than making one-off or ad hoc grants;
• Save the Rhino is a fundraising organisation, not a campaigning one: they do not get involved in political lobbying or petitioning;
• Save the Rhino believes in the value of partnership working with other in situ and ex situ NGOs and conservation organisations.
  

I think they are an extremely worthwhile and admirable organisation and am very proud to have been offered one of their precious London marathon places.

Please make any donation you are able to make - it all helps! You can donate through the link above, or the link on the right in this blog, or by contacting me via e-mail and I will send you my postal address, if you would prefer to send a cheque.

Thank you.

Happy new 2008 - and what are you going to do this year?

I love nothing more than a resolution. I am one of Belbin's resource investigators - extrovert, enthousiastic and communicative. On the down side I lose interest once initial enthousiasm has passed... Starting afresh, setting new goals, mapping new targets - I'm your girl. Once I'm mired down in the middle of it all, when all I can see is big humps ahead of me - that's when it gets hard. That's one of the reasons my running and racing means so much to me. A marathon is proof to me that somewhere, inside me, there's an element of a completer finisher in there - someone who can see a long plan through and emerge victorious. So don't fence me in yet!

So having said all that let me launch into my new year's resolutions:
- thanks to aforementioned terrible flu I am now at target weight. I need to stay there and stay with the healthy, low alcohol lifestyle.
- I would like to run 2 marathons well-ish this year. Again, thanks to aforementioned flu my training for London has been somewhat curtailed but I'm hoping to pick it all up again this week. I will only have missed 2 weeks then and that should be manageable. Well - it will be. 10 days of skiing should make me fit and strong and mentally ready to take on 12 weeks of training. We'll see....
- I hope to find some balance this year with my new challenges of working and being a mother and wife - and being me. I am really hoping that this will be the year where I will be able to say "no" to things sometimes. Particularly to requests from others for me to do things I don't have time or inclination to do. Let this be the year...
- I would like to do my bit for charity. I want to launch my Save the Rhino fund raising page this week and will do it.
- and I would just, occasionally, like to smell the roses. I'm very very fortunate in lots of ways and I hope that I will remember, at times, to just enjoy that, instead of charging ahead to the next thing. Here's hoping.

And what's happening for you? What are you aiming for? Are you going to come and run a race with me somewhere? Let me know..

A stone dropped on me!

No it didn't really, but it might as well have. Shortly after posting my "busy busy" post and putting together a short contribution for The Extra Mile (during which I could feel a sore throat) I was felled by flu. I struggled into work for a day and then was left marooned at my desk and had to use everything in my arsenal to walk back up to my car in the afternoon. I even had to phone my husband to pick up the kids - I knew that once I was in the car I had to just get to bed as soon as possible. It was awful! It has been awful! I have not been this ill - ever! Which I suppose is lucky in itself. But my goodness! I was in bed with a high temperature until Christmas day (7 days) and have only just started to be able to be up all day. And I'm still going to bed around 7 in the evening and sleeping till 8.. with a nap in the afternoon. I am so weak! Every small thing I do - laundry etc. necessitates a 15 minute sit-down in a chair afterwards.

So no running. For over a week now. Where does that leave me? I'm not sure really. I know I'm not strong enough to run yet. I'm hoping to get out there by maybe Tuesday, for a quick run. Where does that leave marathon training? Well... It's not great missing 2 weeks of training (at least). What can I say? I'm off on my 10 day skiing holiday halfway through next week so I'm hoping to be strong enough for that. When I get back I will have 12 weeks till marathon day. I'm not sure what to do. Whether to just start back into Hal Higdon when I can? Or to find a 12 week program somewhere? I know there are some about. If I sound lacklustre - I'm not. But this is beyond my control. I'm going to have to wait to be well again and then see where I am...

On the plusside - I'm at target weight. That was easy! Just get sick and that's the trick.. And I didn't overdo it on red meat or wine over Christmas either and am unlikely to do so for New Year's. So at least I'll start the New Year slim...

I'll keep you posted on progress - just wanted to let you all know why I've not been about commenting and posting.. Happy new 2008 to you all and let's hope we can run together this year!

again with the delays and excuses..

I know I know. It's been well over 10 days since I posted. Honestly - I don't know how everyone else does it. My new job is great - I'm loving it. But when I'm not working I'm picking up my kids, spending time with them, cooking, tidying, laundry and general family admin - and running just about fits in there as well.
I was listening to MarathonChris on The Extra Mile whilst doing 10M on the treadmill last week - the only thing that makes the treadmill at the gym bearable is all of your great podcasts - and she was talking about prioritising running in the middle of a busy life. I know I'm not the only one with a busy life but I guess the difference with my previous freelance life is that so much of my time is now ringfenced - it's that much harder to squeeze out an hour to run.

Anyway - last week's long run was meant to be 14 miles. Once again I stopped at 9. Exhausted. Again. I came in and sat on the floor and started crying where my husband picked me up. I asked him whether I should just quit here and give up on London (yes, drama queen should have been my middle name) and he told me no - but to back off the extremely demanding running plan. So yes. 3 weeks into it, I've given up on the Pfitz 18 weeker. I'm going to have be realistic - if I'm going to get these runs done, and line up at the starting line in one piece (of sound mind would be nice as well) I'm going to have to do something a bit more realistic. And so I am, once again, stepping back to Uncle Hal's Intermediate I. I've done it twice, it works for me. It's not going to get me in under 4, I may even have to give up on a PB (London is a harder and busier course than Amsterdam or Chicago) but I can do this one.

For the past 3 and a half years running has been central to my existence. It pulled me out of the post-baby, career-on-hold deadspace and gave me purpose. Now that I've entered a new phase - kids in school, new career on track - I may have to look at running a bit differently. Not that I would stop. I wouldn't do that. It remains crucial to me - the physical and psychological benefits are too enormous. But I may have to accept that there are other limitations to training than physical ones - such as time.

To top everything off - the reason I have time to post today is that I'm in bed with flu (and a laptop). It was going to happen I guess and here it is. Hopefully I'll get it all over with before Christmas and my skiing holiday. I'm going to be missing a few days running but given that I've been fairly diligent with the Pfitz plan till last week I think I can afford it while dropping into Hal Higdon. I think. I hope. We'll see...

Finally - there's a discussion going on at What's a few miles between friends regarding running a joint marathon next year? Any ideas? Any contributions? Head on over and let us know.

Finally finally - inspired by Chris we've elfed ourselves as well - check us out !

btw

Don't you just love that poll? I just discovered it when I tried to add a PDF to my post.. BTW - just to be clear I am DEFINITELY running and training for the marathon - just not quite sure how.

A great and inspirational fellow blogger, Drusy, just found out she's running it as well so it's going to be such fun to meet up with her at some point. I'm hoping to be able to do a training run with her in London at some point. This is her now - above - with a new(ish) haircut and what looks like a shed growing out of her head! I hope she can get rid of that before the race - it's bound to slow her down..

Help!

Well - I'm not quite sure how to say this but I'm not sure I can do this. What? Train for a marathon? Sure. Aim for around the 4 hour mark? Not quite sure, but there is some confidence. Follow the Pfitz plan for 18 weeks? That would be the one I'm not quite sure of.

Why? Well the immediate reason I'm doubting myself is that I went out for 13 this morning and managed 6. After my first week at work, a hard crosstraining session, a 10 miler on the treadmill (which I completed despite chafing which started at 3M and got pretty ugly by 6M) and a 5 miler after work before the supermarket shop yesterday, today's run was just too much. I was bushed! And - of course - I started to doubt the schedule? Should I? Or should I, just 2 weeks into it, just chalk it up to tiredness and overextending myself and try again tomorrow. I'm just not sure.

On the one hand I think that the Pfitz schedule is going to require a lot of time investment - time is something I do not have an overabundance of.. On the other hand I feel weak a) for stopping today and b) for contemplating changing horses so soon into it. The thing that makes me consider changing horses is the fact that I got started early - I could still, for example, jump into another schedule without really missing anything. So what do I do?

The final thing is that I found a schedule for a sub 4 hr marathon on the Runnerworld UK website which is just a bit less intense that what the Pfitz suggests. It is a 16 week program that builds up a bit more slowly and just generally seems more manageable. Flip side could be that it might not get me as fit as the Pfitz might. If I can do the Pfitz. Hrmmmm.

For those of you schedule nuts, I've pdf-ed the Runnersworld schedule and am going to see whether I can attach it to this post somehow. Otherwise if you would be willing to cast your eye over it I would be delighted to e-mail it to you.

I feel like such an idiot! Anyway. Once again - let me have your thoughts!

where is she? where has she been?

Or where hasn't she been? Out and about, all over the place, getting ready to go to work, looking after her kids, ironing, cleaning, tidying up, travelling to Holland to her father's retirement party, celebrating St. Nicholas with her parents and children, packing, unpacking, laundry, cooking, stressing out about her new job...

Oh .. and running.

Yes - I am in week 2 of the Pfitzinger 55 mile per week or less 18 week training schedule. FYI this is the bottom end of his schedules. 55 miles per week! I reach those dizzy heights in week 11 but still - hoo ha! That is a lot of running!

Anyway - I'm only looking two weeks ahead. That's all I can program into my Palm without getting bored or terrified. So far, so good. I finally (finally!) went to the gym I joined 2 months ago and got them to sort me out with a weights program. So after 15 mins on the rowing machine and 15 mins on the cycle I have to work out all sorts of complicated machines which will tone me up and help me avoid those dreaded bingowings.. The schedule, at the moment at least, calls for 4 days of running and 3 days of either rest / cross training. I've had to muck it about a bit due to my trip to Holland but so far I'm on 1 day of rest a week and 2 days of crosstraining. And it's all gone fine so far! I missed one mile of my long run last week - ran 11 instead of 12 miles - because I'd mistyped it into my Palm but in week 1 I think I can handle that loss.

Terry, Jen and Maritza all said that 18 weeks seemed like a long time to follow a schedule. And it is. I've always done 18 week programs - and always lost my mojo at some point - but I'm hoping that I'm knocking that on the head this time by taking a skiing holiday 6 weeks into my training program which I've built in and left myself 2 weeks for. We're off to Jackson Hole (the weak dollar - sorry guys! and the strong euro make this the most economic option though don't let my husband read this because he'll say I didn't choose the most economic hotel.. A girl's gotta live right?) on January 10th. It should be good - last time I went skiing I was very unfit and still enjoyed it - I'm hoping increased fitness should make me better. (Last time I went skiing I also came back pregnant but I've learned my lesson now - older and wiser in so many respects!).

So - what haven't I done in the past weeks? Oh - commented on your blogs! I have read them in stolen moments and have marvelled at the amazing achievements of my running blogging friends. So here - in no particular order - are some shoutouts:
- Susan! Wonderwoman! What a star! This girl had a HARD time during her St. Jude's marathon. It was not a good run. But did she give up? No this woman pulled everything out the box to cross that finish line for Elijah and did so. What a girl!
- Maddy and MarathonChris - two fantastic runnergirls who met up again and ran the OUC half-marathon last week. Both of them ran full marathons not long ago and I salute and admire them for being so ready to race again so quickly!
There's Chris on the left and Maddy on the right. And no, they are not punching each other apparently - just showing off their Elijah bands. Whatever, ladies..
- the amazing ShirleyPerly who's more nervous about cooking a Thanksgiving meal (which went perfectly, by all accounts) than about running marathons or triathlons. She's going to take it easy for her last race of the year and "just run a sub 4-hr marathon". That's right honey - you just relax and take it easy!
- incredibly determined and focused Lizzie Lee who finished her first marathon! Well done LizzieLee - what an incredible achievement!
- Jen who has just run her 2nd CIM in an incredible 3:36 despite having a tough old mental struggle during the race. What an achievement girl! That is just incredible!
- Nicole, half of the wonderful and hilarious team that creates the 4feetRunning podcast, who has just completed her 2nd marathon in Philadelphia.
And all my other blogging friends - I am reading your blogs and catching up and will be sending shoutouts and comments your way as soon as possible.

Today was the first day at my new job. I've been parenting / freelancing for over 6 years so this was my first go at being back in an office for a while. I had a great day, my colleagues made me feel very welcome and although I can see some challenges ahead, I think I am able to cope with them and I welcome the opportunity to be back in the game. I've really lucked out - mummy-friendly hours and a non-mummy-track job so I'm really going to do my best.

Final thought of the day - it's getting late - I wouldn't have dared take on this job if I hadn't been a runner. Truly. When I changed from overweight couch potato into someone who could train for and run a marathon I changed my perception of myself and what I could do. If I - the overweight and underconfident me that I was 4 years ago - can do this running thing, then I can do anything I set my mind to. So that's what I'm doing. Setting my mind my friends..

Which is good because tomorrow I'm doing 10 miles on a treadmill - hey ho what fun!

meme - it's all about me

I've been tagged by the wonderful ShirleyPerly to do a meme (is that what you say? Do you do a meme? Perform one? Blog one? Publish one? Never mind... ). The rules are as follows (pasted in from Shirley's site):

• Link to your tagger, and post these rules on your blog.
  
• Share 5 facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird.
• Tag 5 people at the end of your post by their names and links to their blogs.
• Let them know they are TAGGED by leaving a comment on their blog.
  

S0 - everything you want to know about me (but were afraid to ask). You should have trusted your instincts hehe....

- I've lived in lots of different countries in my life - in Holland, Tanzania, Sri Lanka, Indonesia, the US and the UK. The only place I really resisted moving to was rural Lincolnshire - and guess where I have now lived longest in one single place -yup! Spital-in-the-Street, Lincolnshire. And I'm very very happy here! Sometimes a type A control freak needs to be pushed where she doesn't want to go...
- I'm truly terrible at any sports that require hand-eye co-ordination. You know how people will say this and then actually be quite good? I was on a hockey team for years and managed to avoid ever having to hit the ball. I could stop it but I couldn't hit it. So I didn't. Ever. When I was about 16 I met some friends who had only met me when I (and they) were really young - like 4. The one thing they remembered about me was that I couldn't catch or throw...
- I read compulsively. Books, internet, newspapers etc. That's all good. But if I'm somewhere with no good reading material I'll read instruction manuals, leaflets, ingredients on the side of foods etc. As a result I can read upside down writing. I might make a good spy one day...
- I love cats. Just love them. Have one now - Pippi after Pippi Longstocking - who just makes my day with her loveliness...

-However, I hate mice. Hate them! And Pippi brings in live ones, tortures them and then loses interest and lets them run off in the house (kind of not the purpose of having a cat on the farm). So to my children's great amusement I am actually the lady who climbs on a chair when she sees a mouse and screams until someone (often my 7 year old) catches it. ..

So that's it folks!

My turn to tag - I tag Jen, Greg, Melisa, Drusy, Terry and LizzieLee!

Shut up and Run

Ok I promise I won't bore y'all with everything toooo much. But I'm in schedule madness at the moment. If you've been reading this blog for a while you'll know I followed Hal Higdon's Intermediate I for my Chicago marathon, no schedule for my Derbyshire marathon (doh!) and Hal Higdon Intermediate II which then dropped down to Intermediate I for my fourth marathon. I am now 1 week away from starting an 18 + 2 week training program for London. Why +2? Because I've booked a 10 day skiing holiday in January where I probably won't be running. (Plenty of hard aerobic workouts though - I ski like I run, little skill, much determination). I feel that Hal and I have reached the end of our road together - I don't know whether I could improve much more on this schedule. I would like a different program this time as I think I would benefit from more varied workouts - a bit of speedwork, more tempo work etc. Sooo... I have been reading Pete Pfitzinger's Advanced Marathoning and my - this is advanced stuff. I've come a long way since starting running with John Bingham. While I think I'm at the bottom end of the people he's writing for I do want to improve my marathon time (are you kidding? who doesn't?) and I also want to try something new..

So - what are the factors?
- Jen (the great and the fast ) commented that's she's about to finish a 12 week Pfitz programme but feels that 18 might be too long - you might lose motivation. More so than with other programs Jen? I'm really interested to know what you think.
- the fabulous MarathonMaritza? You followed Pfitz for 18 weeks no? What did you think?
- Anyone else got some thoughts to throw in?

I'm going to have to show my hand here as well. Remember that post I put up and took down recently about prioritising and fitting everything in? Well.. I wrote that because I was in the process of finalising arrangements for a job. I have been working freelance from home for some time now but have now been offered a part-time position in a marketing department. It's a great job with great challenges AND mommy-friendly hours - 9-2:30 Mon-Thurs so it has everything I could ask for at this point. BUT while I've been able to run when I wanted recently since my son went to school, I am obviously going to have to do a lot more prioritising now. This is a good thing - I tend to get more organised when I have to and much more efficient. But. Running. So - here's my thinking. The Pfitz 18 week schedule has 4 days of running, 3 of rest / cross training. Long runs on Sunday. Now - given that my Fridays are free I think I would do my long runs on Friday and then just move the whole schedule back 2 days. This would mean that I would have to fit in one midweek long run during my Mon-Thu working week. Thankfully I joined a gym a month or so ago so I think that run will most of these in the evening on a treadmill. Husband is very supportive - of marathoning and working - so, provided I schedule all my runs in - I think that is feasible.

So what do you all think? Am I nuts? The more sensible amongst you will probably say you can't tell me whether this is all feasible. On the scale of discipline and determination I would say I am definitely human - I get tired and lose motivation - but I am also determined and keen. And I think it will help me to cope with the inevitable workplace stress etc. to have my running to come back to.

Input asked for guys and gals. In the meantime, I've been having a good time running footloose and schedule-free. Had a few days in London this week and check me out in Hyde Park

Yup there's Lolly again - this time city dog took country girl for a run round Hyde Park!

And ShirleyPerly - I had to think of you when I saw this. Bear in mind that it was cold (maybe about 3 or 4 above (Celcius) and look at these gals swimming with the ducks!
Shirley's also tagged me so my next post will be a meme... And we will soon be onto rhinos I promise! In the meantime, keep running!

And she's off!

Yes - anyone who knows me knows me that the reflective, calm and considered side of me only tends to last very briefly before I go full throttle into my next commitment! While I am trying to be wary of overcommitment this time - I really AM - I have just received word that I will be given the opportunity to RUN THE LONDON MARATHON in April of 2008. How exciting is that!

I will be running it for a charity which is very close to my heart - Save the Rhino International. I have supported them in the past by running the 2005 NYC marathon and the 2006 Chicago marathon to raise money for their cause and am delighted to be able to run with and for them in London.
I will post much more information about them and why I think they are such a worthwhile cause to support shortly when I have my information together. But I didn't want to keep IrishBlue and Maddy on their toes any longer - they can finally sleep at night..

So - it's just under 2 weeks till D-day - the beginning of training. I'm madly reading up on different schedules and different strategies but in 2 weeks time everything should be in place to start a 20 week training countdown. Any suggestions very welcome - I'm thinking the Pfitz is finally going to come out and be dealt with but thoughts, opinions etc. are very welcome. I will enjoy the couch while I can!

Finally - the weight loss is happening, but slowly. I've signed up with P.O.M's weightloss challenge over at Runnerslounge - look for the holiday weight loss challenge where the gruesome reality is there for all to witness. IrishBlue and Drusy have joined in already so it's all out there..

I'll be back soon!

Clarification... and running for Ryan

I've just deleted the post I put up yesterday - about exercise making you more intelligent and related to that, ideas that were rolling around in my head at the moment because I don't think I made a very good job of getting my point across...

So just to reassure everyone - I'm fine. Totally fine. Not un-motivated at all. MarathonChris's comment was much more coherent than my long blurb. I am really looking for some time-management skills and, attached to that, some new assertiveness and communication techniques to help me achieve this more effective time-management. I am hoping that a daily practise of meditation might help me set priorities I'm happy with and give me a chance to consider those commitments in my life that I might not want to continue with. There. I've now said it in a paragraph, without a rant about self-help on the side. And all this thought, in turn, has been prompted by finishing a marathon and taking some time off training to just think about what's next in all aspects of my life. Thank you all for your comments as they have made it much easier for me to put my thoughts into words.

Anyway onwards and onwards - wonderful and FAST Jen has passed on the news about running 5.5 miles for Ryan Shay next week and I wanted to spread the word. I've got a busy week ahead but will find the time to run the distance in his memory next Saturday.

As for my other news - IrishBlue - there is so much cooking in the oven but I just dare not open the door for the minute for fear it all falls flat... As soon as it's sitting on the counter cooling I will let you know..

Running with the dawwggsss

Another beautiful day - I just can't get bored of this amazing beautiful autumn. It's chilly now but I like that - good running weather. Went out for my first 5 miler since the marathon today. I took it easy - no aches or pains but I want to keep it that way - and it was just lovely. I finally got a chance to listen to Steve Runner's PB busting marathon report. I've been doing short runs with my husband at lunchtime which has been great but man - I do talk! I give myself a headache. I need podcasts to listen to so that I shut up and run. I love running with others from time to time but my goodness me - I need to be gagged! Anyway, I brought out some perfect running buddies with me today. Our dog - Frankie aka Franklin Delano Dogveldt and a sleepover guest from London, Lolly. Now Frankie is used to running with me but Lolly's a city girl and a tad on the chubby side. Rich perhaps, coming from me, but trust me - if she wore skinny jeans she too would have a muffin top. So initially country dog took the lead - check out country dog waiting for city dog to catch up. But then country dog gave up! For no good reason, Frankie just went off and sat on the lawn. DNF for Franklin. And city dog pulled through. She did the full 5 miles for me. I burned 500 or so kcals, apparently, not sure how this translates to dogs but it'll do her the power of good at any rate. She just needs to learn to keep up and stop stopping unless I do, in which case she needs to learn to wait until I do whatever it I'm doing that's making me stop. Like taking a picture. See Lolly stretch!

Now my friends - there is a running plan - with strategies and training plans and all that jazz - brewing in my little head. But I'm going to be uncharacteristically silent and share all with you in the next week or so when my plans will be a bit more firm. It's a tad undercooked at the moment. In the meantime, enjoy your running, enjoy your racing and stay in touch!

Saint Paula!

Wowee! Look at the girls! Amazing woman! Did you catch that final mile? Where did she get that sprint from? She is just incredible. I'm in total awe of this woman. 2:23:09. How's that for speed?

Reflection, resolutions and ... mrrm yesss a muffin top

Reflections after running my recent marathon:
- it is ALL worth it. The early morning, the tiredness, the stress of working your life round your schedule, the fear of failure .. it is all worth it when you're out there and your body is doing what it's trained to do and it's doing it well and it's surprising and amazing you with what it can do.
- there is no such thing as "just" a marathon. Just because this one was closer than Chicago and New York, and because I wasn't attaching a holiday to it didn't make it "just a marathon". It was hard and exciting and fun and painful and unmissable. Every single mile of it.
- there is a certain feeling I have when running a marathon that I never felt any other time - all my doubts and worries are pushed back in a way I find difficult at other times and I feel confident and strong and able, regardless of whether I'm actually doing well or not. If I'm struggling then I am fine with that and I don't judge myself harshly. If I'm doing well I'm fine with myself too. I am just, for a while, totally fine with myself. An incredible feeling. Perhaps worth finding outside of a marathon?
- you HAVE to put your name on your shirt. It really really helps.
- family is amazing.
- bin bags are amazing. Check this out LizzieLee!
- running mates are amazing. Look at Sal! Not at all self-conscious at being bin-bagged with me..

Now for the resolutions - with this marathon behind me it is very tempting to think about my next year of racing. An autumn marathon has now become a tradition and so has the traditional time off from running just after it. It's not that I'm not running, but I'm not training. I'm just running for the pleasure and the fun of it. In my experience, it is really important to have some time off a schedule so you can give some thought to what's next. My impulsive and overly ambitious nature means my natural instinct is to jump straight into a new plan but I'm holding off, just reviewing my options while I'm out there on these lovely autumn runs. So what are my running resolutions for the rest of 2007 / 2008?
- to follow a more rounded plan. The Hal Higdon intermediate plans have served me well but offer no speedwork or interval work. I think I've now probably done as well as I ever will on them and so I need to ramp it up a bit and shake it up a bit if I want to improve any further. The bad thing about blogging is that your previous unmet resolutions are out there - I wrote about following a Pfitzinger Advanced Marathoning plan earlier this year but then chickened out. I think I will go either for a Pfitz plan (it's working for Jen, after all) or follow a Hansen's plan like Steve Runner is doing.
- to run either a full or 2 halves in the spring. I've entered the lottery for London fully expecting not to get in (only 1 in 5 get in) but I'm doing it because after 5 unsuccesful entries you get in so one day my day will come.. If I don't get in I might find another UK full to train for or alternatively try to work hard on my half-times for a bit - might be a good strategy for trying out full marathon plans?
- to use my gym membership. I.e - some upper level work with weights etc. as well as swimming.
- to run an autumn marathon OR the relay if we can get a team together - I will be hassling you all after Christmas to see who's prepared to take part. If we can't get a team together I might run Chicago again or do Berlin..

Finally - the muffin top. You know you've overdone the post-marathon reward eating when you get jeans-induced indigestion and you've got a muffin top..
I'll spare y'all the image of my ... self spilling out of the top of my jeans but you can imagine. So I'm with the lovely and amazing Maddy and joining P.O.M's Holiday Weightsloss Challenge.

So off I go - on a beautiful Autumn run.

I'm back!

I'm back! After a GREAT weekend. All my misgivings were misplaced - I had a fantastic time for the following reasons:
- I had a wonderful time with my parents. This is the first time they have both been able to watch me run a marathon and they were SO incredibly supportive and interested it was amazing. They met us at 4 places and my father puts the papparazzi to shame, I think I have a about 90 photos of this race! They met me at the airport at lunchtime on Saturday and we just had such a wonderful time together for the next 2 days. We had meals and coffees, chatted, laughed and got caught up. My mother came out both days even though she had flu, my father and uncle picked me up by bike on race day to take me to the start (the race went by my hotel so all the roads were closed), they were there fully for me for the whole time. And they were so proud! I am SO lucky.
- family support - in the UK and in Holland. At home my husband manned the home front and my mother-in-law and sisters-in-law helped out to look after the kids. In Holland my uncle put my parents up, organised a restaurant for us on Saturday - pasta at 6! - and was so sweetly supportive and interested. Then to my great surprise about 5 km into the race I heard someone shout out my name - 2 of my cousins had heard I was running and had turned up to cheer me on! I can't tell you the lift this gave me!
- running support. I have never run a marathon with anyone I know but it was amazing to run it with Sally. She's been such a great running mate and her talent and ability is quite incredible. Bear in mind that at the beginning of this year the girl had never run 10 miles. We got into our starting pen which was for the 4-4:30 hour finishers and she moved straight to the 4:15 pacing team. I really wasn't sure about this - given all my misapprehensions recently I felt this was ambitious - but she reassured me we could always drop back. Well my friends, once we started we stayed together. Although the race was measured in kms I still had my Polar watch set to miles so I could measure our pace against what I'd run in training. Although I soon realised it was slightly "off" we managed to keep an incredibly consistent pace throughout the race. When I felt like flagging she was steaming along and dragged me along - when she was in pain I made like Oprah and asked her all sorts of trivia and distracting questions.




The footage above was shot by my mother on my camera but it shows you we did the whole thing side-by-side. And I can't believe how consistently we ran. These are our splits (with 5K splits in brackets) as they were sent through this morning:
5K 29:38
10K 58:50 (29:12)
15K 1:28:33 (29:33)
20K 1:59:54 (31.21)
half marathon 2:06:54
25K 2:40:57 (30:53)
30K 3:00:36 (29:49)
35K 3:30:33 (29:57)
40K 3:59:50 (29:17)
42K 4:12:17
Yes my friends - I pulled off a PB! With an average pace of 9:37 per mile I smashed my Chicago record of 4:17 and took off 5 minutes to finish in 4:12:17! And I owe it all to my friend Sally whose pace is like a metronome..
- finally - how was it? How did it feel? The race was well organised and had a great start and finish in the Olympic stadium which felt very professional. Because we were all lined up along the track you could actually see the elite take off which was great. The race wound through the city and then went on an out and back along the Amstel River for about 15K which was suddenly very rural, very Dutch (windmill alert) and very exposed to the wind! Again, because this was out and back we could see the elite sprinting back as we jogged out which was great if intimidating. There weren't enormous crowds and there were some quiet bits (particularly out in the countryside) but people were really friendly and shouted out support and the water stops were great - bananas at each one! On a personal level, I felt the whole way round like I was pushing myself, but not beyond what I could handle. At mile 18 I remember a brief fantasy of wanting to lie down, and Sally and I didn't talk much the last 6 miles other than the occasional "you alright?" "yep" conversation. Oh - we did actually each tell the other to take off if they fancied it and I think both thought, when asked, that we must be looking better than we felt.. Sally did suddenly take off the last 400M and I really had to pull everything in to stay with her at that point - I felt very nauseous right before the end - but we finished together and once it was over, everything felt great. And then, of course, there was wine, and chips, and licorice and yes - even herring.

And finally - thank you to all of you who sent me such supportive e-mails last week when I really felt very much that I was not going to pull it off. Your faith in me was incredible and very much appreciated. I thought of every one of you as I ran - Maddy in San Francisco, Shirley in Nebraska, Melisa in Ohio and Chris running her 5K (only a week before her BIG day) in Florida. And everyone else who was out there running, training or just generally sending me good vibes - they did not go to waste! Thank you!

4 days, 14 hours - I'm nearly there..

And am I ready for it? Finally, I think I am getting there. People have been asking me for weeks and I have to say that I've been thinking "No, I'm not". I've found it hard to get into my marathon zone for this race.

This is, in part, because I'm not traveling far for it and making complicated arrangements. It's out on Saturday am (1 hour flight from our local airport), back late Sunday night. Adam's staying home with the kids so I'm not making my usual complicated childcare arrangements, and I know Amsterdam well so I'm not so concerned with attaching a holiday / sightseeing to it. All good stuff, but all this preparation does get you in the mood, I've realised, and because I've been so preoccupied with life here I've not really focused on my trip.

Then, I suppose, I haven't been in the mood because part of me is worried about it. Don't get me wrong - I know I'll finish it. But I'm worried that I'm not going to finish well enough - in my own judgment. I feel I've done a lot of training but over the past 4/5 months I've given it 80%, not 100%.. And now that the race is almost here I'm just trying to adjust myself to the fact that I may well not run as well or as fast as I did in last year's Chicago marathon. And that's fine too - I know that - I just want to feel fine about that. Does anyone else know what I mean?

However, by and large I'm ready. The training is almost done, it is what it is and I've got what I have in my pot. So I'm going to go out there on Sunday morning and give it my best. I promise.. This is the first time I'm running a race with so many of you reading my blog and checking on my progress - adds to nerves but also excitement! I don't think they're giving updates during the race but the website is here. And I'll post as soon as I get home..

Finally - great good luck to all of you out there running a race this weekend - we're all in this together! Maddy, Shirley and everyone else - stay happy and enjoy the race!

what I was doing when I should have been working - thanks Terry!

&%^)&*(*^%$£$£@^

Okay I was going to go on a complain fast. I was reading about it in Oprah last night (I know I know just don't even go there) and I realised that I had, in fact, been complaining a lot and it would do me (and those who have to listen) a great deal of good if I just shut up. So I thought this was a great idea. But before I do that I just have to have a few last vents:
- I went to see a friend this week who lives in beautiful Derbyshire, also known as the Peak district, which is about an hour away from here. I went for a lovely 5.5 mile run there even though it's the PEAK district. Hilly does not begin to describe the sheer crevasses I ran up like a mountain goat (an old ailing one but still). I was all perky and run-happy and even took some photos. I had clearly had a few too many coffees that day because look at the photos.. It was a horrible day! I did really enjoy it - sometimes it's trips like this that make you realise the joy of running is being able to enjoy places like this - even in the rain. HOWEVER and here is my big moan - I forgot my running shoes at my friend's house! Now that is not an enormous problem - I do have my "old" ones which are fine BUT my running shoes have my iPod sensor on them and so I am not recording any miles for the Great Pickled Herring challenge that Maddy started! Can you believe the frustration? Anyway I am hoping that I will get my shoes back sometime next week. But I've already run another 8 without recording.. Boohoo....
- there is no live update from the Amsterdam Marathon! None of you guys can follow me as the race goes along. They do use chips (doh!) but there is no updating as we go along! I guess I took it for granted - at NYC and Chicago they sent updates to mobile phones and updated on the internet - but no.. How annoying.
- I'm tired. I'm so plodding through my runs. My crazy life shows no sign of calming down and I'm in tired headless chicken mode. Achieving very very little, I might add.

So - ok. Complain fast now. I'm going to store all this frustration and energy within me without letting the top off so there are two options:
- I explode in unbridled fury at whichever poor person it is who does me some perceived tiny wrong which tips the balance. OR
- I do something about those elements I can change that are frustrating me. So I can get some sleep, just enjoy my running without recording my runs and start again when my shoes come back, and just enjoy the marathon.

Plan B is probably preferable for all involved.. So now I'm going to have to cut this entry short because it's Saturday am, I'm in my study and I can hear my daughter (7) vacuuming downstairs. If she vacuums, something is broken ... So in calm and collected mood, I will sail down the stairs and survey the apocalypse. Wish me strength my friends and happy running!