I was thinking about this topic today after a post by the wonderful and wise Greg on why he runs. I agreed with most of his reasons but a new one came to me today, against the background of some other stuff in my life.
I have just made a mistake at work. Not an enormous one, but a visible one, which will cost my firm a little bit of money. I have fessed up and offered to pay up but they are being very gracious about it. It was caused by lack of attention to detail which is a general character fault which I work hard at to correct but don't always succeed in dealing with. So. That makes me feel pretty bad. I have had to fall on my sword publicly. Not so nice. And I feel like an idiot. Not nice at all. And I now feel like every bad thing that everyone has ever said and implied about me (or which I think they have ever said or implied about me) must be true as well. A truly quite horrible feeling.
If I didn't run I might not have any perspective on this matter at all. That's what I'm like. I would think "well this proves that I am just a fat, lazy, incompetent woman who doesn't deserve to have a job at all, nor a loving family or any of the wonderful friends she has near and far". Because I run - because I am still able to drag out a 12 miler after a hellish day yesterday and before a hellish day tomorrow - I feel that I can't be all bad. Mostly bad. But not all bad. To paraphrase the wonderful Fraulein Maria, at some point in my wicked miserable life, I am able to do something good...
So I'm going to go and cook a meal for my family now and do my best not to be ratty with them all and tomorrow I'll go and face some more music. I'll run 5M before work just to give me strength.. That's why I run.