I did it - but not sure how..

Did the 17 miles yesterday but I have to say it was not a good run. Despite my new gizmo, my Camelbak Octane, which was very comfortable and produced no chafing, it was a really difficult run. I felt so tired I walked a few times (some of my miles were 12 minute miles, to my shame) and at one point I even sat down. Between 12 and 15 miles I was very much minded to give up but the thought of having to 'fess all on this blog made me determined to sort myself out. Which is interesting as I'd discussed this with Dr. Monte last week - how keeping a blog can make you stick to what you're doing health and fitness-wise. Well, without you out there in cyberspace I would have quit at 12 miles, I'm sure.

I had been listening to my iPod and after listening to some excellent shows (Phedippidations, Fitness Rocks and Running Adventures) I did about 15 minutes of teach yourself Japanese which was hilarious .. picture a sweaty woman trudging through the woods loudly ordering herself one or two beers and some japanese tea. After that the content deteriorated - some frankly completely uninteresting interviews on salon.com which didn't help my mood at all and then at 15 miles came the all-time low - actually sitting down and contemplating not getting up again. I decided to give it my best - remembering Adam Tinkoff's podcast on the 4 agreements - and took off my iPod. I then went into my running survival technique, which is to count very slowly from 1-100 and then start all over again. I did this for the last 2 miles and, although they were slow, I managed to do them without stopping. When I had finished, I was too exhausted to feel happy or proud or take a picture of myself with my new gear..

Of course, as usual I had a busy schedule to get right into - as I ran onto our front lawn my friend's car pulled up with my daughter in it - she had taken Sophia with her for the afternoon so I could get my run in - and shortly afterwards I found myself upstairs putting together a tent to go on top of my son's new Ikea bunk bed. After reading him a story and putting him to bed and passing my daughter onto my husband to put to bed I ran into the shower, got dressed and ran out of the door for a meal with a friend I hadn't seen for a long time. All lovely but too much given what I'd already done that day - by the time I got to bed last night I was shaking with exhaustion..

So why did it go so badly? I'm really not sure. Part of the reason has to be that I'm exhausted. I've also got a cold and a chesty cough which isn't terrible, but not great either. Also - despite having great new gear I didn't have any energy drink so just drank water and had a PowerBar along the way. I tend to drink some kind of sportsdrink and I think it does make a difference.. Whatever the reason, I'm a bit worried about the marathon in just under 2 months. The way I was feeling yesterday there is no way I could have run another 9 miles. On the other hand, I had some pretty slow training runs in the run up to Chicago, so perhaps I should just see how I go for the next few weeks. I have a few more major long runs coming up - 18M and 2 20M runs - so hopefully there will be a bit more juice in the box for those.. Whatever I do, I will keep you all posted and informed.

Till then - happy running and stay with it..