Slippery slopes and all that...

Yup - I was nearly there again...  The slippery slope of being so busy I didn't blog.  But no - I caught myself before I rolled all the way down that hill again.  I'm trying to learn that even though I can't achieve all I set out to do, I could maybe achieve some of it.  So this week I set aside doing, folding and putting away laundry (something that takes up so much of my time that I never want to find out what it adds up to over my lifetime) to e-mail a friend.  And tonight I'm delaying packing for yet another trip to quickly post to my blog and comment on some of your blogs.  Bits and pieces guys - that's how my Rome is going to be built. 

So first - running.  Well - up and down.  After last week I've had a fairly good week.  I ran odds and ends last week (4 here, 3 there) and then 8 on Sunday with Sally.  All fine.  Then went to see osteo who was happy and gave me some exercises and told me to come back in 2 weeks.  Went out for a blissful 5 on Tuesday morning at 5:30 am - birds tweeting, sun shining, knees not-paining - life was good.  Then went out for 3 on Wednesday and ah.  Could feel those darned things.  Took yesterday off and ran a cautious 2M today which went fine.  For some reason some runs just seem to set something off and then it takes me days for the pain to fade.  But fortune hasn't completely deserted me - before you wonder - because coming out of my office for lunch with a friend I ran into another friend who is a physio.  She knows about my knees but I've never gone to her because I felt kind of funny about asking a friend - I thought it would be awkward if it didn't help.  But she was so open and thoughtful and then said - as an aside - that she had been practising acupuncture for 10 years and found it very useful for knee pain when other treatments weren't completely succesful.  I was amazed!  I had found the first practitioner who didn't just practise one thing!  I always think of physio as being quite related to standard medicine, whereas acupuncture - which I've never tried before - seems to belong to such a different tradition.  Needless to say, dear readers, I've booked an appointment in 2 weeks.  In the meantime, I'm carrying on seeing my osteopath - the weird things he does to my legs really help, they just don't seem to be able to prevent things from happening again.  

As far as Chicago is concerned, I am still not sure yet.  My osteopath seems confident - I'm going to wait until I see my other friend now and talk to her.  If she too feels that, with a bit of treatment along the way, I can get into marathon-shape, I will go ahead and book a ticket.  

So this, potentially, brings up the matter of training.  Now I've been searching for a program that would suit someone in my particular situation.  I'm (hopefully) in recovery from injury, I'm more focused on running the race than on winning it (ha! fooled ya!  I mean running a PR) and I would just like to make it to the start and finish line in one piece.  Enjoy the run!  So..  In one of of the most recent Phedips Steve read out some race reports (I feel honoured to have heard Jen's directly from her, on a run) but he also mentioned another runner who said he had used a Furman's schedule as he was fighting injury.  As soon as I got back from my run I googled this and after a few misspellings (don't you love it when Google knows what you mean before you do?) I found the website for the Furman FIRST program.  The program is based around the idea that with 3 really targeted (and precisely and ambitiously paced) runs per week (speed, pace and long) and 2 cross training sessions you can run a good marathon.  Their website and book is filled with stories of people who have done extremely well on the program.  Now - as I've said I don't think it's realistic to treat whatever training program I'm aiming for as one to get a PR.  But the 3 days of running a week does appeal to me - my knees just seem particularly prone to trouble when I run back to back days.  I've been enjoying my cross training - particularly the swimming - and in the summer we even have a pool at home that I could use.  I think that, possibly, this kind of program might enable me to get stronger and fitter without risking overdoing the mileage and getting injured again.  So once again my friends, this is where you come in.  What do you think?  what would you do? 

And once you've given that some thought, help me out further - if I do it should I do their beginner's program, their advanced program (which looks like some pretty scary mileage for a low-mileage program) or the runner's world in the middle program?  For all you triathletes out there - do you find your running prowess decreases when you run less and do other sports?  

So there you have it my friends - knees (still) and training programs. A degree of deja-vu, I appreciate that.  I am about to head to Holland for a week (where my parents live and where I used to live) which has always been great running time for me - my parents live in the woods and it is just gorgeous out there.  So here's hoping the good karma of the beautiful nature helps my running.  

And finally - on a sadder note.  I have just been to vist a friend of mine in hospital.  She is very ill indeed - a woman my age, with 3 young children.  She is on a very slow and fragile mend - I will probably be looking after her children for some time in the next few months.  If ever I needed a reminder that my particular problems were of limited significance, this visit did it for me.  I would love to be able to run Chicago, I am determined to go at this with whatever I have, but I will, ultimately, surrender to the universe on this one.  We'll see what happens.  If I can't make this race, there will be others.. 

Love to you all, and good health.  

Where have I been? What have I been doing? And how are those ^%$&%** knees?

What do you do when you haven't posted for over a month? What DO you do? Or what do YOU do? Maybe it never happens to you. It's happened to me. Do I give you a month's worth of details on my knees, my travels, various domestic issues? Do I give you a shedload of excuses? This is my third stab at this post and I've deleted the other two because they were .. frankly .. boring. I can't believe anyone wants to read something which I'm actually bored writing. So. Short pithy bullet points for your delectation on the month's pertinent topics:

• Knees. Aah. Not so good at this point in time. After last month's post and all your wise advice I went to see my marathon running osteopath who brought fast relief and got me back on the road. For the past month I've been running shortish runs (3/4M) most days and this has been fine and injury free. However, this Sunday I ran 7M in 2 bursts - 3M at 6:30 in the morning with Sally and 4M at easy pace later in the day. In the evening I could feel my old familiar knee pain. Went to see osteopath immediately on Monday who was surprised at it and surmised it might have been because I didn't stretch after the first run - apparently my legs and kneecaps were very tight. Went out for 4M yesterday which was fine - painfree while running - and will carry on as long as I don't feel any more pain while running. I can still feel it a bit now though..
• Running friends. Ah! You'll all have seen Maritza and Jen's posts on our lovely run in California last month - can I just tell you how wonderful it was for me? Amazing! After a somewhat white knuckle drive to the reservoir where we'd agreed to meet (I'd flown in from London the day before and was about an hour away from where we were to meet - that hour in the car in busy traffic on the wrong side of the road trying to find my route definitely raised my adrenalin levels) it was so lovely to see these two wonderful runners. Our run was glorious - the environment was beautiful and Jen had only just returned from another victorious marathon in Boston - and our big breakfast afterwards was so much fun. They are wonderful girls and I wish I could run with them more often. More than that - it was nothing like meeting people for the first time, we knew so much about each other and it was great just adding this extra dimension.
• Everything else? Well everything else is pretty crazy which is why it's been so long. Work is challenging - I have a lot on my plate and I'm struggling to get things done on time. Home life is good but as all parents know, parenthood is rarely without its challenges. I had a fantastic week in California - lovely food (French Laundry, Chez Panisse, Zuni Cafe - need I say more) but being away from home for a week requires a lot of organisation beforehand and afterwards (and I called in a lot of favours from my favour bank). Me? I'm a bit so-so at the moment. I'm overloaded and make myself slightly nervous with the anticipation that I will drop balls. Which, unsurprisingly, I do. The recent knee pain is not helping my mood.. I feel guilty at all that is being left undone at the moment (which includes posting and commenting on all your blogs - apologies! and I will make up for it.)
  
• Chicago. Aahh. Well... If I were going to do a 20 week programme, I would have to start in 10 days. I want to go - I spent some of my time in California with Jeff and Brian who were such great support last time and with whom I will be staying this time. I really really really want to run with all of you who are coming out there. I just don't know whether this most recent physical upset is a blip - a reminder to take stretching, warming up and cooling down seriously - or an indication that there is something more fundamental that I need to be working on. What I am doing is trying to get 20M in this week (not all in one go, I hasten to add, 5 x 4M runs), and to try and do a very gentle, properly warmed up longer run 8M at some point. I will see how I feel after that and continue to consult with my osteopath. If I do go ahead I think I will have to be sensible and choose a fairly low mileage plan - Hal Higdon's beginner, for example - and gain some fitness with weekly swimming sessions. The alternative is to NOT do a 20 week plan but to pick a shorter program - 16 or even 12 weeks - again with fairly low mileage and to use the "extra weeks" to see whether I can really get to the bottom of this knee pain. I guess either strategy is not that different .. I'm not quite at the start line yet. At some point in the next month I am going to have to jump and buy a ticket - I will let you know how things progress.
  

Till soon my friends - having given you this update I feel like I've ticked at least one thing off my to-do list and I can now get on with blogging again. Again - apologies for my absence - please do not mistake it for not caring. I'm not quite sure whether I'm waving or drowning at the moment...

makin' it up as i go along...

Well here I am. Just over 8 weeks since I stopped running..

I know that some members of my family and some friends read my blogs (lurkers, the lot of them) so I won't put a figure on the sum of money I have thrown at my knee injury since then but let me add up:
- 4 physiotherapy sessions at our local sports injuries clinic;
- 4 weeks of paid parking at the bottom of Steep Hill instead of free parking at the top of Steep Hill;
- 1 initial consultation with a podiatrist which resulted in:
- full gait analysis with a podiatrist and the manufacture of custom orthotics;
- new neutral running shoes;
- and the purchase I resent most of all - a pair of flat black court shoes to wear to work, wide enough to fit my orthotics and with no heel so as not to interfere with orthotics magic..

And where am I? Well my friends, not a whole lot further, or better.. When I first went to the physio I was only really in some pain after running a long-ish distance - 8+ miles. Not good at all, given what I want to do with my running, but I was able to generally do the shorter distance without any major discomfort. The pain was primarily in one knee. Since going to the physio and doing twice daily exercises (and laying off running, breaststroke and downhill walking) the pain has become more constant and is now presenting itself in both knees. About 2 weeks ago I decided to stop doing my physio exercises to see if the pain diminished. It did, somewhat. But when I went back to the physio with this information he was convinced that I was just pushing too far or too hard and that I should keep them up, albeit with less vigour. 3 days after doing that I found that I was, once again, getting pain behind my kneecaps, so, once again, I have stopped the exercises. Only about 5 days ago but I do think that things are getting better. In the meantime I picked up my orthoses last week and I have been slowly wearing them in. They seem fine, are not causing me any discomfort and I am now able to wear them all day. I think it is too soon to tell whether they will help - they certainly do not appear to be a hindrance.

But this still leaves me with a mild pain in my knees, sometimes behind the kneecaps, sometimes on top of the knee, sometimes at the bottom, sometimes at the side. I don't really feel I am any further along the road to determining what's wrong or how to make it really better. Stopping running doesn't appear to have worked. I have given the physio quite some time and, if anything, it's aggravated things. The orthoses may well help - the gait analysis showed up a pronation that I've never known about and which my physio had noticed as well.

Now what though? Patience huh? It's not that I'm being impatient (although I am definitely an impatient person, hadn't you guessed that by now?) I would be patient with any particular strategy if I thought it was working.

So I'll tell you what I'm doing now and you can tell me what you think:
- I've cancelled next week's appointment with the physio. I need time to consider whether I want to go further down the road, and further down the road with this physio - however much I like him and think he is trying to help me;
- I've booked an appointment with an osteopath. I did suffer from runner's knee before my NYC marathon and he managed to help me then without stopping me from running (it helps that he's a sub 3 hour marathoner himself). I didn't go to him straight away this time because I thought that I might be helped more by a physio but now I'm beginning to doubt that thinking.
- I've started running. Yes.. I know. I got so fed up (and so excited by the thought of my new running shoes and trying them out with orthotics) that I decided to try - very slowly. I went out for 1.4 miles yesterday and today. Fine both times - no pain - and no increase in pain / soreness afterwards in the evening. I figured I could try this over the weekend and see what my osteopath says on Monday.

Then there is the appointment with Chris Griffin, the ChiRunning instructor in California in 2 weeks as well. My physio thinks that it is likely that the cause of the pain is biomechanical as I have it in both knees (although he does always mention the option of surgery as well) and my podiatrist agreed. ChiRunning should address biomechanical issues quite directly..

Am I crazy? I don't know. As long as I'm not making things worse by going on (very short) runs, I guess I'm not. Am I? And I guess I don't know whether I am making things worse..

I wonder how much of everything is mental as well. I find myself constantly checking in with myself - are my knees sore? If so, where? Honestly, I bore myself rigid and you as well, no doubt. I'll stop now.

But any thoughts / ideas / inspirations / experiences on your part would be very welcome...

And let me not forget - the wonderful Drusy is running the London marathon this weekend. Big shoutout for that wonderful lady who has trained so hard and so well, and raised lots of money for the Guide Dogs. I will be following it on TV all day and hope to catch sight of her.

I am a partial triathlete!

Yes my friends! This is the weekend of the SimplyStu triathlon and although I entered it through the endlessly encouraging and supportive ShirleyPerly I was beginning to panic. Unlike JadeLady I couldn't even see myself turning this into a duathlon. My knees are still not pain-free and so I'm not confident about going out running (certainly not without some input from my phsysio) and my orthotics have not yet arrived (hurry! hurry! hurry! can't the man smell my desperation?) so I was worrying that maybe I should just try to run something like 3 miles before heading to the pool. And then yesterday afternoon the constantly amazing Maddy had a brainstorm while commenting on Susan's blog (is that how it started girlfriends? I thought so but may well be wrong) that we could do it as a relay team - she was running a 10K, Susan was planning a bike ride and I was going to swim. So that's what we decided to do. We even picked our own race number - 330 - as we are three chicks in our thirties..

So this morning as soon as I had the show on the road at home I headed off to the pool. It was packed! There were lots of kids swimming lessons going on and families enjoying the pool and there were only 2 lanes free for "proper swimming", a fast one and a slow one. As I was being serious about this I decided to go into the fast lane, not before asking a young father waiting by the side of the pool to take my picture before the race. As you can see, the air was warm! But the fog is quite flattering. Update my father is a photoshop superguru and has somehow removed most of the fog.. I don't know how he did it but wow! I compromised on the vanity issue - you do get to see me with my bathing cap on - not generally a good look - but you don't get to see anything below the shoulder. I'm saving you - believe me. Nor do you get to see the after picture - my goggles have such strong suction that I have enormous marks on my face after I finish and look generally old and tired after a good swimming session. Oh well. And you can see my upper arms don't quite have her Madgesty's definition either. There are always things to strive for.. Oh and do note that I magic markered the 330 on my arms in true triathlete style - I felt like a bit of an idiot but I couldn't let my wonderful team mates down!

So the swim! Well I think it went quite well. I did 1500m in 40 minutes - my watch battery died so I went by the clock on the wall. That was 750m front crawl and 750m breast stroke. I am very pleased with it - after only a few swimming lessons I am able to do that much front crawl which is a real improvement. I didn't kill myself - I took it steady as I had no idea what kind of endurance I'd have for it - but I was definitely hot and flushed at times. The lane was very very busy - there were 5 of us ploughing up and down it at one point - so it was quite a genuine experience, the water was quite choppy, I got pushed and kicked in the face, and I generally had to become more aggressive in the course of my swim. The other swimmers were clearly good and confident and not very friendly - they just pushed past me. Initially I kept letting them go ahead of me but eventually I decided I was keeping up quite well with most of them so I refused to let them go ahead and stuck to my game. Ha! I have to say so far I haven't found swimmers remotely as friendly as runners to beginners..

Anyway - I made it through and then ran into a friend in the coffee lounge afterwards so had a nice latte and a chat to her and her super marathoner husband (he just ran a 3:30 last weekend in Dumfries) and then headed home. Cinema and supper out beckoned with the kids and now the clocks go forward so it was a rush getting this race report out today.

Overall it was a good day and a confidence building experience - I have no idea how bad 1500m in 40 minutes is - it's a PB simply by virtue of it being my first race! And as for triathlons - I can begin to see the attraction. Overall I imagine the cross training is good for you and strengthens different parts, and the wear and tear on one particular part of your body is less. I can't contemplate a bike yet, not until my knees have healed fully, but when they have I may well do it. Right now the focus remains to be well enough to run Chicago in October and to actually meet my wonderful team mates and blogging buddies. After that - who knows?

Back on track - in mind if not in body..

I was weeks behind on my blog reading. Why? Work, kids, home and oh yes - that !@£$$%%^&* knee thing which you've all heard enough about. Reading everyone else's running blogs seemed to just remind me of what I couldn't do at the moment.

But enough! Enough of the ego! I like all these blogging buddies of mine too much and I was dying to see what everyone was up to so I got over myself (and about time, I can hear some thinking). And don't you know - I've been rewarded. What an incredible bunch you all are! Adam's thought provoking link to Jill Bolte Taylor on Tedtalks had me mesmerised last night. Adam first put me onto This American Life as well and his podcasts and blogs constantly inspire and challenge. Then Peter's post about his family was just so raw, so angry but above all - so honest. Unflinching in his directness, it shows what blogging has that journalism so often lacks - the truth about someone's reality. Shirley Perly's blog about why she wants to be on Team Evotri just blew me away - this is someone who is confronting her biggest fears and anxieties head-on. Her courage is incredible. Susan, also sidelined with injury, has not whinged, moaned and felt sorry for herself (unlike someone else I know all too well) and has instead used the time to reassess her life options and has set up her own business. Go girl! Maddy - great friend and my marketing guru has her ear to the ground and posted some Nike commercials which just make you want to go out there and COMPETE! Wake up spirit! Melisa, meanwhile, has really got the running bit between her teeth now - 20M per week and she's aiming to end up at 50! Woot girl - you are totally on top of the game! Kevin just got back from the beach with his gorgeous family and the snapshots are wonderful. (Incidentally - Kevin wrote to me weeks ago to go and see a podiatrist as he'd had very similar problems in the past - I'm hoping I'll be as succesful as you were and thank you from the bottom of my heart for your advice). Jade Lady - another athlete who's been sidelined with injuries writes of her progress with her exercises and makes me vow to keep at it - she's really moving ahead (and losing weight!) so she's an example to be followed. (I'm not alone - and other people are handling things better than I am - noted everyone..). Maritza is currently in Ireland - I can't wait to read what she got up to there. I'm due to meet up with Maritza and Jen next month - how cool is that? Jen is running Boston this year - the woman is so fast and her training is going so well and I know she too has battled injury in the past - it's good to see where I might one day end up.. (though Boston is a dream I don't yet dare to have..). Greg ran his first marathon recently and just has the racing bug - he's about to run through the Lincoln tunnel and it reminds me of how much fun road racing is - I love the sense of the group of runners running where, at any other time, cars reign. Jessica over at Pieces of Me never fails to amuse - any woman who will post pictures of herself in a bathing suit to motivate herself to lose weight is a woman I like. She's just been to Fiji (nice life for some) and posted some great pictures of herself getting a mud pack - I think? And now she's talking to her childhood imaginary friends to get herself motivated to train - she totally cracks me up! As does Terry who's saga of the ass mirror is just hilarious and it just keeps on going. Amazing marathon Chris makes my time poverty seems like a holiday - on top of a young family she's working 60-70 hours per week at the moment and still fitting in some training. Her attitude is so positive even when she doesn't get every single run in - again, something I could learn from. Lizzie Lee, over in Seattle (and Washington DC) gets her inspiration from Frederick the Great - king of Prussia "One does as one wishes with the body - when the soul says quick march it obeys"- no kidding Lizzie! Check out her speedwork! Wonderful Drusy is 3 weeks away from London - I will be cheering her on every step of the way. And finally - last, but certainly not least - Charlie has committed to running Chicago and is SO well prepared. If ever anyone was ready for the marathon it's Charlie - his weekly mileage has been amazing for months now! - but he needed some convincing. Charlie - I'm going to get this knee sorted and I will join you at the start!

I've caught up with most of you now - and I can't tell you how much more positive I feel. I realise I'm not the only one facing some challenges, I'm not the only one busy, and I am simply not going to have another week without knowing what you're all up to! Keep it up everyone and keep blogging about it. I will be checking in...

Finally - just a quick link back to ShirleyPerly again. She needs you to vote for her to get onto Team Evotri. Check out her post and then vote for the girl here!

Anyone else got an idea?

2 weeks! It's been 2 weeks since I last posted.. And 6 weeks since I last ran. The two are related. To some extent there is little news to report: I am still injured and still not running.

One of the things that is so difficult about injury (I’m sure Susan will back me up on this) is that everyone has a different opinion on how to treat you or what would be beneficial for you.

My GP was the first point of call. A man who visibly did not put exercise at the heart of his life, his advice was just to “take it easy”. Whatever that meant. I did cut down on my mileage but it didn’t ease the pain. At all.

So then – in this country – you head into the land of private (ie you pay for it) healthcare. There are physios, osteopath, podiatrists and many other options available. How to choose? In my case, I asked some fellow runners and they recommended physio at the local sports injury clinic.

So I went and started to see a physio. He’s good; he’s very dedicated to getting sports people out on the road. I think his initial prescription for me – strengthening my adductors, stretching out my ITB – was based on a general treatment of knee pain in runners. When I went back last week – the third time – and I could still report no progress he suggested I remove all potential stressors of my knee out of my life for a while. So no high heels and, more importantly, no hills. Somewhat reluctantly I have stopped parking my car at the top of Steep Hill (yup)
every day and walking down to work and am, instead, parking at the bottom of said hill and thus, hopefully, avoiding some of the pressure on my knees. I am wearing mostly flat shoes. We then agreed to meet in the gym that evening so he could see me run on the treadmill. He was very surprised to see that when I run I am, in his words, knockkneed. I overpronate considerably and this causes my knees to come together when I run. When he then had me running wide-legged – I felt like I was running while riding a horse if such a thing is possible – the pain immediately diminished. When I asked him what this meant for my recovery program – ie which exercises I should focus on, he had my focusing on exercises to strengthen my glutes. When I asked for his advice on how to run in this way which was far less painful, his answer was “go slow and steady”. His idea is that I start by running in this new way for 5 minutes each day, and build it up. The problem with this suggestion is a) that I’m still suffering from knee pain and b) that it’s very hard, without guidance, to really change how you run. In addition, in the course of the past week I have slowly become conscious that some of the exercises he is making me do may be contributing to the knee pain which has, if anything, got worse since I stopped running. This may be because I’m not doing the exercises right or it may be that we have not yet completely figured out exactly what it is that is aggravating my knee pain and so have not been able to eliminate it from my life (or exercises). Since Thursday, I have, in fact, stopped doing any of the exercises that I felt were hurting me and (touch wood) my knees feel better.. This is sort of good news – no pain is good news – but I am conscious that his initial advice of strengthening my adductors probably still has validity and I’m not quite sure how to go about it without hurting myself. Another appointment is called for.

Based on this lengthy paragraph above it seems quite clear that my pain is related to how I run. So I somehow need to learn how to run better, in a way that won’t injure me. ChiRunning is an option here and as you know I’m working on this. I’m practising my various focuses and exercises in anticipation of a private training session with Chris Griffin next month.

Another way to change the way you run, however, is orthoses. Now I was quite reluctant to go and see a podiatrist. Everyone who goes to see one seems to leave with 300 pound orthoses. But frustrated by my lack of progress and doubtful about my running future (and upset by my physios repeated comments about going to see a friendly orthopaedic surgeon for arthroscopy) I decided it was worth having a try. A local podiatrist is recommended by our local running shop and my friend Sally has been helped by him so I booked in to see him last Thursday. He found all sorts of peculiar things about the way I walk and move and next Tuesday I am booked in for an afternoon’s session where he films me running on the treadmill, will make a cast of my foot and then will make me orthoses which will correct a variety of the problems he thinks I have. Do I think this will help? Well, I obviously hope so. But based on what everyone else has noted there is clearly some issue with the way I move and on the face of it is seems orthotics would change the way my feet move and would therefore change the way everything else moves. We shall see. At any rate the assessment should be valuable and useful and the orthoses are refundable, should they be no use at all. I will then go back to the physio with my issues with my exercises and see what we can come up with which doesn’t hurt me more. Pile Chris Griffin on to that in a month’s time and hopefully this three pronged approach will do some good…

I have so far not consulted an osteopath or any other practitioner – I am overwhelmed with the range of possible treatment options and not quite sure which road to go down. I think I’ve gone down the physio route long enough to be able to try something alongside it, and we will see where that gets me.

I am trying to be brave about not running – the few swimming lessons I have taken so far have vastly improved my front crawl. The time freed up by not running seems to have been seamlessly swallowed up by work and domestic life – I am very behind in commenting and podcast listening. If I haven’t been to your blog recently – I am getting to it. I promise. I miss you all enormously, and I miss the sense of running alongside you all. I really hope I’ll be back again soon..

the injury blahs

I have been suffering the injury blahs this week. I've had enough now. I'm bored with myself. The weather is glorious, spring is erupting and I want to be out there! Running, not walking. Pain-free, not limping. Remember when I lost my mojo? I take it back - all of it. I really really really want to get out there. Now.

But I can't. I've now had a week of non-activity (apart from my 15 minute walk to work and back and general day-to-day stuff). I've had a deep tissue massage. I've been doing my exercises. I can't say that I'm pain-free. I'm still not. Sometimes, for no apparent reason, both knees still hurt. I think that what my physio will say is that until I significantly start strengthening my adductors (which, with daily exercise, should start being noticeable about 4-6 weeks from starting them) I will continue to feel this pain. I know I know. Patience. A little at a time. I'm seeing him on Thursday and I hope that he will tell me to start running again, albeit slowly and carefully (he mentioned walking 4:30 mins, then running .30 minute for 30 minutes total). On the other hand, I will tell him that, in all honestly, the knee pain has not completely disappeared yet so maybe he will recommend more time off.

However, something has to change. My attitude. I have worked hard at being positive, as seeing this as an opportunity to focus on other things, to make this a moment to realise that things such as core strength etc. are really crucial. But dammit - I just really really really really want to run!

I don't think I realised, until the last 2 weeks, how much running was part of my routine. It's how I think of things when I go travelling (where will I run?), it's how I plan my year (which marathons will I run), it's how I catch up with certain friends (Sally) and mostly, it's how I feel good about myself every single day.

However - I know that I've been throwing a pity-party and that is, when all's said and done, pathetic. So I'm grabbing myself by the shoulders and saying "enough". When you actually bore yourself with your whingeing, you really know you've gone too far. I'm there.

So - I will stick to the exercises. I'm going to add some cardiovascular exercises this week - Shirley suggested I swim with a pullbuoy and hoo-ha - that will be good for my bingo wings don't you think? My husband now realises just how unpleasant I can be when I don't run and so has told me that once or twice a week he's fine getting up with the kids and taking them to school so I can go to the pool and swim. He is ABSOLUTELY not a morning person so that really is telling you something about how nice he is and just how unpleasant I can be. So pullbuoy swimming, careful elliptical training and my core exercises should hopefully, eventually, put me in a position where I can return to running stronger and wiser. There is always hoping, right?

Finally - I have found some silver lining in all these clouds. 2 years or so ago I took a course in ChiRunning with Danny Dreyer in London which was fantastic . Danny is an inspirational man and his techniques make a lot of sense. I did not find it easy and have obviously let things slip in the past few years. However, I now have a major impetus (i.e injury) to wish to learn to improve my form. I am heading out to the bay area in April to help my best friend celebrate her 40th and it just so happens that one of the best ChiRunning trainers lives in the town where I'll be staying. So I've booked 2 hours of private lessons with him and that is really something I'm looking forward to. So another thing I can do in my time off from running is to start working on the postures and exercises on the ChiRunning DVD.

Finally, finally - I am really hoping that Maritza, Jen and I can hook up for a run while I'm near San Francisco. Although I'm on holiday my days are packed and I think I'm making it difficult for these 2 busy, dynamic running bloggers to fit me in but I hope we can make it and I can blog about it.

So all in all there's plenty to look forward to - I just have to get on with the challenges in the short term. Thank you all for your continued feedback and support - it helps more than you realise!

Down but never out for long..

2 weeks since my last posting - and so much has happened!
Our friend Greg over at Philly to LA on Foot ran his first marathon in New Orleans last week and he came in at 4:53:57 which is fantastic! (And faster than my first marathon Greg!) Well done Greg! What an achievement! And do head on over to his blog to read his fabulous race report.

Then our great online friend and inspiration, Shirley Perley a.k.a the humble triathlete put together a YouTube video as part of her first attempt to get onto Team EvoTri. Sadly she has not got through to the final round - the biggest sadness here is for the team because what an asset this girl would be to any team! However, we can still see Shirley's submission on YouTube and I highly recommend you go and have a look.

As for me - well I am down, out for the count, but not out. In the 2 weeks since I saw my physio and decided to pull out of London I've been trying to work out a way to deal with being sidelined from running. The biggie for me has been denial.. It has basically taken me some time to really accept that I will not be running for a while AND that if I do want to go back to it, I have to work hard at recovery. Once I'd actually put all that on my plate, I decided to go for my recovery with the same dedication I train for races.

When I went back to see my physio this week I discussed the various cross training options I had considered and tried out in the 2 weeks since I last saw him. Cycling? It's out for the minute - the movement is too aggravating on my knees. Elliptical? Hrmmm - okay if it doesn't hurt. I'm being gentle with it - 25 minutes at a low resistance. Running? Because yes my friends, last Sunday I thought I would just go out and try for 2 miles... 1 mile was fine, 2 was painful. And I duly got my wrists slapped by the physio - if I want to get better I have to lay off, for now.. Swimming? I have been out to the pool 3 times in the past week. The problem is that I am not good at front crawl, and breast stroke is (again) too aggravating on the knee.

What I have agree with him is that for the next 2 weeks I will take it very very easy. No running, no cycling. A little bit of elliptical training. And I am joining the Thursday night swimming class at my gym where I will be properly taught how to do front crawl..

This is really really hard guys. Running is my number 1 love, especially on the beautiful crisp mornings we've been having here recently. Other options like cycling and swimming do not yet attract me as much, but they do provide me with the physical release I have come to crave each day. Doing nothing is very very hard. However, my physio told me that every time I do something to aggravate my knee I set my recovery back another week. OK. My aim is to get to my next appointment with him with no pain or swelling. If I have to refrain from exercising for a short while, then so be it.

As I see it, there are 4 elements that I need to focus on in the next 4 weeks:
- strengthening my adductors. I am doing a variety of exercises for this and after some messing around (I am very uncoordinated) I am now doing them right..
- loosening my ITB. I am stretching it as much as is possible and am also getting massage to aid this;
- trying out some orthotics. One of the things my physio has noted is just how much I pronate when I move. This could be one of the reasons my knees are so painful. So he has given me some orthotics to try out. I've been wearing them in my shoes during the day and we will see if this improves things.
- working on my hip. Because yes - a few testing moves from the physio proved how weak the muscles around my hip are. Which is not helping my knees. So I am doing some fairly undignified moves to help this area...

Finally, my physio noted that my kneecap is tilted upwards. This may also be a reason for some pain and so he says that when I can start running again, he will tape across my knee to even up the balance..

And as far as beginning again - somewhere in the next 2 to 4 weeks I really hope that I can begin again - very very slowly. The physio wants to me to start on run-walk program - 4:30 mins walk, 30 sec. run. Again - that will teach me humility don't you think?

But it will all be worth it if I can get back to running again without pain. I am not taking running for granted again - I hope.

I am still hoping to run Chicago and my physio has not discouraged me. If I do an 18 week training program I will need to start the week commencing June 9th. That gives me another 13 weeks to recover from this injury and I am hoping that will work. I can also accept that I may need to train on a beginner schedule rather than an intermediate one, as I will have lost fitness and endurance during this down time. I can (I think) accept it all. Right now, I have every reason to look forward to being on the starting line with Maddy, Melisa and whoever else is brave enough to join us!

Finally - life has been crazy. Work has been crazy. I think that had I not been working at this time, my injury would have become an obsession. Now, with everything else going on, I can only devote so much worry to my injury before moving onto the next concern. Which may well be a good thing. The bad thing is I'm behind on my blogreading and commenting, not to mention podcast listening. I will get to all of your recent posts in the course of the next week, I hope, and I thank everyone for their very kind words and often extremely useful advice.

Over and out..

Last week's 12 miler - while mentally essential - made it very apparent that my knee pain hadn't gone. While it was not too painful while I was out running, I woke up the next morning with a warm feeling behind both of my kneecaps.. Aarggh. Ibuprofen, ice etc. did nothing to take away my nagging realisation that I was indeed injured. Properly. A feeble 4 miles on Sunday firmed it all up - there was something here that was not going away.

You've all been able to follow my avoidance of seeing anyone knowledgeable on the matter. But on Wednesday I finally saw a physiotherapist at our local sports injury clinic. He really took his time checking out my knees, my legs, my feet, my stance and finally, when I was flexing and relaxing my upper leg and he had his fingers underneath my kneecaps you could just see my kneecap moving from left to right. It's not meant to do that folks - it's meant to go just up and down, not across. Why is this happening? Various reasons - tight ITB and underdeveloped muscles on the inside of my knee / leg (adductors?). Fairly typical for a runner, apparently, but also problematic. Apparently the problem has probably been growing for years and now it is really beginning to raise its ugly head. My "hot" knees obviously means there is some inflammation and more than 8/9 mile runs cause pain during and after the run. Of course my first question to the man was what to do about this. The answer is - work on loosening the ITB and strengthening the adductors. How long will this take? 3 months at least, he thinks. My second question to him was, of course, what about running London? Now the guys deals only with sports injuries. He's quite used to people who are training for an event and who want to do these things at any cost. So he said I could run it - if I could stand the pain of training and the race - but it would exacerbate the problem and make for at least a 6 month recovery. And, in his view, if I didn't take the problem seriously soon I was heading for a situation where I a) couldn't run at all and / or b) needed knee surgery. Well - I made my decision there and then to drop out of London. Not an easy one and not lightly made. But, finally, inevitable. Running is for life - I want to carry on doing it for a long time. I have no desire to be in enormous pain doing it, nor do I want to find myself in a situation where I am physically unable to do it. I have to do my thrice daily exercises, my hourly stretches and work on these. He thinks that within a week or two the swelling will have gone down enough for me to be able to slowly add short runs, and to build it up slowly alongside the stretching and strengthening. I will hopefully have other opportunities to run London and am now firmly aiming to be ready to start training, fit and strong, for Chicago this summer.

However. However. I am letting some people down here. Save the Rhino gave me a gold bond place to run the race for them. I vowed to raise money for them and many of you have already made a donation. The money raised has already gone directly to the charity. I do appreciate however, that some of you may feel that if I'm not running the race you would like to divert your sponsorship to someone who is, or to another worthy cause. If you feel that way please e-mail me and I will personally refund your donation.

What a few weeks these have been! I feel battered around by events. And I'm not able to take it all out on the road for the time being. However, I've seen my admirable friend Susan cope with injury and setback and I'm taking her as an example. I WILL do everything my physio says to do, I WILL crosstrain in the meantime and I WILL be back out there on the road. So go out there, enjoy your runs and stay tuned - I think I will need to blog more without the distraction of the exercise I love more than any other..

Why I run..

It was bound to happen.. Let's rewind. Ever since my daughter was 1, I've worked on and off on various studies and freelance projects. Sometimes I did no work for a while, sometimes I had a lot of work on. When I was offered a "proper" job this November - still freelance but in an office, with office hours, I was initially very reluctant to give up what I had. However, I started and found I really enjoyed what I was doing. In the course of the 2 and a half months that I have been in this job I have learned more about my remit and my abilities. In the past few weeks, however, I have begun to feel very overextended. You know when your to-do list is so long that you just can't see how you're ever going to get to the bottom of it? And so much of it needs dealing with "straight away"? So, I've been letting work creep into home life, I've been working Fridays (which was not part of my original arrangement) to just stay on top. Not great but hopefully temporary. All these years out of an office, however, and I had forgotten something. Politics. Office politics. I forgot about office politics until I stepped right in the middle of a big smelly issue. And of course, I didn't realise what was happening until it was too late. I did not have a good day in the office yesterday. I am not proud of it but I felt so awful, so hurt, so upset by it all that I closed my blind, closed my door and cried. I then rang my husband. He was wonderful. His support and love for me is 100% and, times like yesterday remind me how wonderful this best friend of mine in life is. And he told me to get my tears out and then to get tough. And I did. No-one else saw me cry - in the sad world of office politics, that would have been a strike against me - and then I took action. And then I went and picked my children up from school (and for once the tiredness and bickering was wonderful - at least it was out there) and then I went home and ran a long run. 12 miles. I was intending to do 15 but I ran the last hour or so in the dark and tripped twice at the end (it gets very dark on the farm and my headlight has a small beam) and I decided it was enough for the day.

I ran and I ran. I got all my tears out and then all my anger out. I was reminded of how powerful the feeling of being wronged is and to show more understanding to my children when they feel it. I ranted, I raved and then I settled into my run. 5M of podrunner and then I settled into podcasts - Steve Runner, Nik and Dan, the other runner, Dr Monte - and got calm. By the time I came back in I was ready for my friday night and my weekend. No work today, or tomorrow. It can all wait till Monday.

My knee... however. While it was fine on my run - I felt it but nothing bad, and all last week I distinctly felt an improvement - it's sore today. I was going to head out for 7 but I think I'm going to listen to my doctor (for once) and give it a rest today. See where I am tomorrow. Where that leaves me I'm not quite sure. I am meant to be doing 17 by the end of this week - we shall see. I think I will see if I can fit in a visit to my osteopath this week..

Run long my friends, and strong, and see you in Chicago this October?

Back on track?

It's not been a great running week, as you can imagine. After thinking about it carefully I decided not to see my osteopath before I saw my doctor about my painful knee - I just wanted to get a more independent point of view first..

So I didn't run Monday and Tuesday and then went out for a cautious 3 on Wednesday. Mildly painful.. Thursday I did 4 - again, I knew about my knee. Friday I finally saw my doctor. Now one of the doctors in our practice is a marathoner and I was hoping to see her but I was out of luck - I saw a more sedentary type. However, the news is not bad. Apparently my pain is some form of runner's knee, in a different place from where I had it before, but nonetheless it all seems quite similar, according to him. He thinks the very different movements of skiing followed by a hard workout just overloaded my tendons and something in there is swollen and irritated. His advice - don't overdo it but you don't have to stop..

And, to be honest, the pain is diminishing. It's still there but it's not stopping me from running. I did 10 yesterday with Sally and it was fine - I stopped for a few walkbreaks but still, generally, felt fine. I occasionally felt my knee but nothing to bother me seriously.

OK. Where does that leave me? I've got 10 weeks to go and was, actually, intending to just do the last 10 weeks of old Hal's intermediate I program. I think what I might try this week is to switch the weeks around and do a step back week this week, keeping the mileage conservative. After yesterday's 10 I'm moving the 7 miler to the end of the week and will do 4, 5, and 4 between now and Thursday. By then I should hopefully get a good indication of whether the pain really is diminishing and whether I'm getting past it. Cross your fingers and all else for me?

Finally - there's nothing like not being able to run to make you appreciate running or you, my running blogging friends. Thank you for your support, interest and understanding - it really did help me. I, foolishly, believed myself to be past injury because I had not been injured for so long. Contemplating not being able to run this week really made me realise how much I love it and how much I need it.. Work is enjoyable but intense and demanding and domestic demands can be overwhelming too. There's just nothing like heading outside after a day's work and getting everything out of my system and into perspective.. And then coming home, reading your blogs and writing my own. It's amazing how much it's all part of my life now!

And finally finally - I just wanted to post this picture of me and another great running buddy, my mother. Just before going to Jackson Hole we went for a run together (my parents came over to look after our children while we were away). So here we are after a fun run together.

Oh no!

Oh no! My knee!

After yesterday's long run - which felt fine and left me tired and a bit muscle sore, but nothing I didn't expect - I woke up this morning to sharp pain in my kneecap. I walked around in the morning hoping that warming it up might help - nope. It hurts to bend my leg when I walk, it hurts to go up and down stairs. Of course - being a mad runner in marathon training - I decide that maybe a run will make it better. And amazingly, for a little while, it seems to. I think I'd been unconsciously keeping it tight, so warming up loosened it. But the pain remained. And after 4.5 miles of the 7 miler I intended, I had to stop. And so I stopped. I iced it and am ibuprofening it. Tomorrow morning I am ringing my osteopath - he's a sub 3hr marathoner and very unlikely to tell me to stop running. Moreover, although it feels different, I have had patellar tendonitis in the past and he helped, quickly.

So what it is, I don't know. I hope I can see the guy tomorrow and at least find out what's wrong and what to do. How it happened, I don't know either - I didn't feel anything yesterday or on any other running days. It's really sudden. Here I've been so smugly telling everyone who asked (because they always ask don't they "won't your knees go sometime?") that since my ChiRunning course I've not suffered an injury.. Oh well. Pride before fall and all that.

Will keep you all posted..

I'm back!

I'm back! I came back to calm and organised kids, a calm and organised house (thank you so much to my parents), crushing jetlag and an overflowing inbox. My google reader had well over 100 posts for me to read - y'all didn't stop did you? What a lot of news! MarathonChris and her husband completed their first marathon together (and Chris, finally, gets to take a break), Maddy did 2 half marathons (one to train for the other I think? That IS dedication), Susan went skiing and then discovered (not related to skiing) that she had really hurt her foot and needed to take a long break (but hey - she's taking up biking instead), Shirley is back in the blogging saddle with an ambitious plan (which I know she'll accomplish), Terry - goodness Terry! - has done more tidying up and cleaning than I thought possible, Melisa is back to running, Kevin and Maritza have gone crock-pot crazy (as have I, more of that later), Jen is posting some amazing times and will do fantastically in Boston at this rate, Drusy is training hard for London, Nik and Dan are back to running after Nik's emergency appendectomy and CewTwo needs some encouragement to get him out to run a marathon. And for those of you I haven't mentioned - I'm still catching up!

First of all - our holiday was fantastic. I had no idea how stunning Wyoming is - it's gorgeous and empty. The skiing was fantastic as well - feet of snow and lots of fresh untracked powder. The last time I skied I was not very fit so I really noticed the difference this time - I had 4 days of lessons and was told that next year (yes I hope so) I would be able to move up to Expert level! Yes! I feel very confident on the double blues and occasional blacks that I did, as well as on the moguls and in powder. It's a fantastic feeling to be able to go up a mountain and basically feel able and willing to go down most slopes. Of course, this was in no small part due to some great skiing instructors (this one here on the right was the amazing Jimmy) who both gave me confidence and pushed me and also taught me to control my speed and become a more technically accomplished skier. I had one big fall (nothing broken, just some impressive bruises, a bit of whiplash, a lost (and later found) cellphone and some newfound respect for the mountain) but otherwise was fine. And of course life off the piste was good too! First came the hot tub (with complimentary hot chocolate and s'mores - hmmmm) and then a bit of a chill-out in our gorgeous room and then a visit to the various bars and restaurants in Teton Village and Jackson Hole to eat. One night we met up with my ski instructors and some people in my class and tried out the Shotski - it takes a great deal of co-ordination and practise to all down a shot of Jagermeister at the same time! No small skill indeed. On our last day we took a snowmobiling trip into Yellowstone to see Old Faithful - it was very very cold but very beautiful. We saw moose, bison and Old Faithful and so much gorgeous scenery -
it was a fantastic day! Now I want to bring the kids and go back when the snow has melted.. we'll see. I didn't do much running - there was a dreadmill in the hotel and I did one 5 miler, a 3 miler and a 2 miler on that but on the whole I relied on the skiing to keep me fit.. I did go out for one outside run - it was just so gorgeous that I bundled up (it was SO cold) and went to find a bike path to run on.
Oh well - I ran 3 miles on the side of the road which was okay - the traffic was light and going slowly so we shared what there was.

So overall - as you can see - a wonderful trip and a wonderful chance to reconnect with my husband, be outside in amazing scenery all day and just enjoy ourselves. We really did. If we can, we will be back next year!

And then we went home. One great thing about leaving your kids at home (with my parents, not alone, I hasten to add) is that you're very keen to go home at the end of your trip. We were all thrilled to be reunited and it's been a hectic week coming back to work and household etc. Being away from home gave me a chance to contemplate some of my work/life balance issues and one of the small steps I've taken is to buy a slow-cooker. So if you have any great suggestions / ideas / recipes / websites - bring it on! I could do with them. Running has been tricky this first week - my jetlag was terrible coming home which means that, unusually for me, I've had a hard time waking up in the morning. Work has been busy, of course, after being away for 2 weeks, and there is so much domestic stuff to catch up on as well...

BUT! Inspired by p.o.m I decided it was now or never this morning and by doing a 1 mile run, 1 minute walk and catching up on my podcasts I managed 14M this morning. Not too shabby eh? So I'm hopefully back in the saddle myself - refreshed and ready for the challenge ahead!

And thank you for everyone with your ideas for rhino headgear - I'm still weighing my options and will show you what I come up with - I promise! Keep running..

Preparation and anticipation..

After all that illness and weakness I'm back in the saddle again my friends. A tentative 2 miler on Monday (with a walk break, how's that for a slow start?) was followed by a 5 miler on new year's day (needless to say, I didn't make it to midnight and was asleep by about 10:30) and then two 3.5 mile runs in the morning on Wednesday and Thursday before work. Although running in the dark at 6am is not my favourite thing I've decided I've got to do it at least on two work days as it is the only way to guarantee I'll get the run in at all. I then took yesterday off and ran 9 today! So a very respectable 23 miles this week which I'm very happy with as a start to training again! Looking back I think I was maybe coming down with this flu before I realised and it might have been part of the reason the 9 milers in December were so tough - today's was fine.

So I'm going to get in a few more runs in the next few days and then on Thursday morning we fly off to Jackson Hole for our skiing vacation. Now I'm no champion skier but I love it. I came late to the sport (a childhood in the tropics offered plenty of compensations, I'm not complaining) but I love the freedom, the speed and the slight scare factor. Also, a childhood with no snow has made me forever excited about it when I see it so just being out there in so much of it makes me really happy. I've been 3 times and every time I've been I've been completely out of shape. This is going to be so very different in that respect, so I'm hoping it will be even better. And yes I will try to keep my limbs attached and unbroken..

Because you've all been great in responding so quickly and so very generously to my fundraising requests! I really really appreciate it - as do the rhinos. It's incredibly touching to receive your donations and good wishes and it makes me more determined to carry on - it really did help on Thursday morning when the snow was blowing in my face and I had to keep looking into it because otherwise my headlight wouldn't illuminate my path. So thank you thank you thank you.

I'm sending out an appeal now to those of you who are crafty. What I would like to make to run the race in is a papier mache rhino head which I can sit on top of my running hat, somehow. Any tips / ideas / inspirations? I can see some fun with wallpaper paste ahead... And if you think this is hard work, Save the Rhino always lends out rhino costumes which are full-length and not designed for running in and 2 fundraisers always run in these. I met two Rhino runners when I ran NYC and saw the costume and believe me - chafing is just the beginning. So what I'm proposing might give me a sweaty head, but it'll be worth it to raise the profile of this magnificent and threatened creature.Run long my friends and enjoy it!

Save the Rhino!

I've done it! Drusy's been at me to do this and I hadn't got round to it but here it is - my fundraising page for the London Marathon 2008 for Save the Rhino. Save the Rhino is a very impressive charity whose aims are:

• To increase the number of rhinos in genetically viable populations in the wild
• To provide financial and in-kind support for projects focused on all five of the rhinoceros species
• To encourage and enable the sharing of information, experience and skills between rhino projects
• To measure and improve the effectiveness of our grant-making activities

Their approach is to:

• employ a pragmatic approach focused on viable populations, and not to be sentiment-driven;
• support the sustainable use of natural resources for the mutual benefit of wildlife, habitat and local communities;
• Save the Rhino does not create or run their own projects in the field; rather, they find rhino conservation projects that they think are doing a good job, and then fund them;
• Save the Rhino prefers to work with projects on a long-term basis, rather than making one-off or ad hoc grants;
• Save the Rhino is a fundraising organisation, not a campaigning one: they do not get involved in political lobbying or petitioning;
• Save the Rhino believes in the value of partnership working with other in situ and ex situ NGOs and conservation organisations.
  

I think they are an extremely worthwhile and admirable organisation and am very proud to have been offered one of their precious London marathon places.

Please make any donation you are able to make - it all helps! You can donate through the link above, or the link on the right in this blog, or by contacting me via e-mail and I will send you my postal address, if you would prefer to send a cheque.

Thank you.

Happy new 2008 - and what are you going to do this year?

I love nothing more than a resolution. I am one of Belbin's resource investigators - extrovert, enthousiastic and communicative. On the down side I lose interest once initial enthousiasm has passed... Starting afresh, setting new goals, mapping new targets - I'm your girl. Once I'm mired down in the middle of it all, when all I can see is big humps ahead of me - that's when it gets hard. That's one of the reasons my running and racing means so much to me. A marathon is proof to me that somewhere, inside me, there's an element of a completer finisher in there - someone who can see a long plan through and emerge victorious. So don't fence me in yet!

So having said all that let me launch into my new year's resolutions:
- thanks to aforementioned terrible flu I am now at target weight. I need to stay there and stay with the healthy, low alcohol lifestyle.
- I would like to run 2 marathons well-ish this year. Again, thanks to aforementioned flu my training for London has been somewhat curtailed but I'm hoping to pick it all up again this week. I will only have missed 2 weeks then and that should be manageable. Well - it will be. 10 days of skiing should make me fit and strong and mentally ready to take on 12 weeks of training. We'll see....
- I hope to find some balance this year with my new challenges of working and being a mother and wife - and being me. I am really hoping that this will be the year where I will be able to say "no" to things sometimes. Particularly to requests from others for me to do things I don't have time or inclination to do. Let this be the year...
- I would like to do my bit for charity. I want to launch my Save the Rhino fund raising page this week and will do it.
- and I would just, occasionally, like to smell the roses. I'm very very fortunate in lots of ways and I hope that I will remember, at times, to just enjoy that, instead of charging ahead to the next thing. Here's hoping.

And what's happening for you? What are you aiming for? Are you going to come and run a race with me somewhere? Let me know..

A stone dropped on me!

No it didn't really, but it might as well have. Shortly after posting my "busy busy" post and putting together a short contribution for The Extra Mile (during which I could feel a sore throat) I was felled by flu. I struggled into work for a day and then was left marooned at my desk and had to use everything in my arsenal to walk back up to my car in the afternoon. I even had to phone my husband to pick up the kids - I knew that once I was in the car I had to just get to bed as soon as possible. It was awful! It has been awful! I have not been this ill - ever! Which I suppose is lucky in itself. But my goodness! I was in bed with a high temperature until Christmas day (7 days) and have only just started to be able to be up all day. And I'm still going to bed around 7 in the evening and sleeping till 8.. with a nap in the afternoon. I am so weak! Every small thing I do - laundry etc. necessitates a 15 minute sit-down in a chair afterwards.

So no running. For over a week now. Where does that leave me? I'm not sure really. I know I'm not strong enough to run yet. I'm hoping to get out there by maybe Tuesday, for a quick run. Where does that leave marathon training? Well... It's not great missing 2 weeks of training (at least). What can I say? I'm off on my 10 day skiing holiday halfway through next week so I'm hoping to be strong enough for that. When I get back I will have 12 weeks till marathon day. I'm not sure what to do. Whether to just start back into Hal Higdon when I can? Or to find a 12 week program somewhere? I know there are some about. If I sound lacklustre - I'm not. But this is beyond my control. I'm going to have to wait to be well again and then see where I am...

On the plusside - I'm at target weight. That was easy! Just get sick and that's the trick.. And I didn't overdo it on red meat or wine over Christmas either and am unlikely to do so for New Year's. So at least I'll start the New Year slim...

I'll keep you posted on progress - just wanted to let you all know why I've not been about commenting and posting.. Happy new 2008 to you all and let's hope we can run together this year!

again with the delays and excuses..

I know I know. It's been well over 10 days since I posted. Honestly - I don't know how everyone else does it. My new job is great - I'm loving it. But when I'm not working I'm picking up my kids, spending time with them, cooking, tidying, laundry and general family admin - and running just about fits in there as well.
I was listening to MarathonChris on The Extra Mile whilst doing 10M on the treadmill last week - the only thing that makes the treadmill at the gym bearable is all of your great podcasts - and she was talking about prioritising running in the middle of a busy life. I know I'm not the only one with a busy life but I guess the difference with my previous freelance life is that so much of my time is now ringfenced - it's that much harder to squeeze out an hour to run.

Anyway - last week's long run was meant to be 14 miles. Once again I stopped at 9. Exhausted. Again. I came in and sat on the floor and started crying where my husband picked me up. I asked him whether I should just quit here and give up on London (yes, drama queen should have been my middle name) and he told me no - but to back off the extremely demanding running plan. So yes. 3 weeks into it, I've given up on the Pfitz 18 weeker. I'm going to have be realistic - if I'm going to get these runs done, and line up at the starting line in one piece (of sound mind would be nice as well) I'm going to have to do something a bit more realistic. And so I am, once again, stepping back to Uncle Hal's Intermediate I. I've done it twice, it works for me. It's not going to get me in under 4, I may even have to give up on a PB (London is a harder and busier course than Amsterdam or Chicago) but I can do this one.

For the past 3 and a half years running has been central to my existence. It pulled me out of the post-baby, career-on-hold deadspace and gave me purpose. Now that I've entered a new phase - kids in school, new career on track - I may have to look at running a bit differently. Not that I would stop. I wouldn't do that. It remains crucial to me - the physical and psychological benefits are too enormous. But I may have to accept that there are other limitations to training than physical ones - such as time.

To top everything off - the reason I have time to post today is that I'm in bed with flu (and a laptop). It was going to happen I guess and here it is. Hopefully I'll get it all over with before Christmas and my skiing holiday. I'm going to be missing a few days running but given that I've been fairly diligent with the Pfitz plan till last week I think I can afford it while dropping into Hal Higdon. I think. I hope. We'll see...

Finally - there's a discussion going on at What's a few miles between friends regarding running a joint marathon next year? Any ideas? Any contributions? Head on over and let us know.

Finally finally - inspired by Chris we've elfed ourselves as well - check us out !

btw

Don't you just love that poll? I just discovered it when I tried to add a PDF to my post.. BTW - just to be clear I am DEFINITELY running and training for the marathon - just not quite sure how.

A great and inspirational fellow blogger, Drusy, just found out she's running it as well so it's going to be such fun to meet up with her at some point. I'm hoping to be able to do a training run with her in London at some point. This is her now - above - with a new(ish) haircut and what looks like a shed growing out of her head! I hope she can get rid of that before the race - it's bound to slow her down..

Help!

Well - I'm not quite sure how to say this but I'm not sure I can do this. What? Train for a marathon? Sure. Aim for around the 4 hour mark? Not quite sure, but there is some confidence. Follow the Pfitz plan for 18 weeks? That would be the one I'm not quite sure of.

Why? Well the immediate reason I'm doubting myself is that I went out for 13 this morning and managed 6. After my first week at work, a hard crosstraining session, a 10 miler on the treadmill (which I completed despite chafing which started at 3M and got pretty ugly by 6M) and a 5 miler after work before the supermarket shop yesterday, today's run was just too much. I was bushed! And - of course - I started to doubt the schedule? Should I? Or should I, just 2 weeks into it, just chalk it up to tiredness and overextending myself and try again tomorrow. I'm just not sure.

On the one hand I think that the Pfitz schedule is going to require a lot of time investment - time is something I do not have an overabundance of.. On the other hand I feel weak a) for stopping today and b) for contemplating changing horses so soon into it. The thing that makes me consider changing horses is the fact that I got started early - I could still, for example, jump into another schedule without really missing anything. So what do I do?

The final thing is that I found a schedule for a sub 4 hr marathon on the Runnerworld UK website which is just a bit less intense that what the Pfitz suggests. It is a 16 week program that builds up a bit more slowly and just generally seems more manageable. Flip side could be that it might not get me as fit as the Pfitz might. If I can do the Pfitz. Hrmmmm.

For those of you schedule nuts, I've pdf-ed the Runnersworld schedule and am going to see whether I can attach it to this post somehow. Otherwise if you would be willing to cast your eye over it I would be delighted to e-mail it to you.

I feel like such an idiot! Anyway. Once again - let me have your thoughts!