I have been suffering the injury blahs this week. I've had enough now. I'm bored with myself. The weather is glorious, spring is erupting and I want to be out there! Running, not walking. Pain-free, not limping. Remember when I lost my mojo? I take it back - all of it. I really really really want to get out there. Now.
But I can't. I've now had a week of non-activity (apart from my 15 minute walk to work and back and general day-to-day stuff). I've had a deep tissue massage. I've been doing my exercises. I can't say that I'm pain-free. I'm still not. Sometimes, for no apparent reason, both knees still hurt. I think that what my physio will say is that until I significantly start strengthening my adductors (which, with daily exercise, should start being noticeable about 4-6 weeks from starting them) I will continue to feel this pain. I know I know. Patience. A little at a time. I'm seeing him on Thursday and I hope that he will tell me to start running again, albeit slowly and carefully (he mentioned walking 4:30 mins, then running .30 minute for 30 minutes total). On the other hand, I will tell him that, in all honestly, the knee pain has not completely disappeared yet so maybe he will recommend more time off.
However, something has to change. My attitude. I have worked hard at being positive, as seeing this as an opportunity to focus on other things, to make this a moment to realise that things such as core strength etc. are really crucial. But dammit - I just really really really really want to run!
I don't think I realised, until the last 2 weeks, how much running was part of my routine. It's how I think of things when I go travelling (where will I run?), it's how I plan my year (which marathons will I run), it's how I catch up with certain friends (Sally) and mostly, it's how I feel good about myself every single day.
However - I know that I've been throwing a pity-party and that is, when all's said and done, pathetic. So I'm grabbing myself by the shoulders and saying "enough". When you actually bore yourself with your whingeing, you really know you've gone too far. I'm there.
So - I will stick to the exercises. I'm going to add some cardiovascular exercises this week - Shirley suggested I swim with a pullbuoy and hoo-ha - that will be good for my bingo wings don't you think? My husband now realises just how unpleasant I can be when I don't run and so has told me that once or twice a week he's fine getting up with the kids and taking them to school so I can go to the pool and swim. He is ABSOLUTELY not a morning person so that really is telling you something about how nice he is and just how unpleasant I can be. So pullbuoy swimming, careful elliptical training and my core exercises should hopefully, eventually, put me in a position where I can return to running stronger and wiser. There is always hoping, right?
Finally - I have found some silver lining in all these clouds. 2 years or so ago I took a course in ChiRunning with Danny Dreyer in London which was fantastic . Danny is an inspirational man and his techniques make a lot of sense. I did not find it easy and have obviously let things slip in the past few years. However, I now have a major impetus (i.e injury) to wish to learn to improve my form. I am heading out to the bay area in April to help my best friend celebrate her 40th and it just so happens that one of the best ChiRunning trainers lives in the town where I'll be staying. So I've booked 2 hours of private lessons with him and that is really something I'm looking forward to. So another thing I can do in my time off from running is to start working on the postures and exercises on the ChiRunning DVD.
Finally, finally - I am really hoping that Maritza, Jen and I can hook up for a run while I'm near San Francisco. Although I'm on holiday my days are packed and I think I'm making it difficult for these 2 busy, dynamic running bloggers to fit me in but I hope we can make it and I can blog about it.
So all in all there's plenty to look forward to - I just have to get on with the challenges in the short term. Thank you all for your continued feedback and support - it helps more than you realise!