Tuesday, October 18, 2011

I'll march my band out.

I have spent a long time agonising over this evening.  I'm 40 tomorrow and I know I should be freaked out about this.

But you've all been reading this blog for some time now.  Midlife crisis?  I think I've covered it.  The past 2 years have been rough in so many ways (though, thankfully, good in so many other ways) that life lessons have been learned at a fast pace.  I've been as close to rock bottom mentally as I've ever been, but I've also emerged, and - you'll all be relieved to hear - I've emerged stronger and more in alignment with the person I really am.

I haven't posted in a month for a number of reasons.  Firstly because between commuting to London every other week, doing full days at my course, revising for exams inbetween and then dealing with all the family life stuff that had been left undone while I was in London there was little time for anything else...  Secondly because I haven't really been training.  My ambition of training for a fast marathon (primarily to beat Sarah Palin's 1:45 recent half marathon time) has disappeared - doing a full-blown plan on top of a course that involves daily workouts which cover the range between finding your 1 rep max on resistance machines, learning how to teach "proper pushups" (I can't even do them myself), and experimenting with different methods of interval training, has just proved impossible.  Instead, I've reduced my almost daily runs to 5 miles of mostly easy work and have allowed myself a weekly 25 miles until halfway through November, when I'm going to have to nudge that up a bit... And thirdly because I've been wondering whether there is still any point in blogging.  I've been blogging for years - do I still have anything to add to this medium?  Am I offering anything others aren't offering, better and with more sponsorship, readers and support?  I don't really know the answer to the latter question.  I'm not sure how much it matters.  All I know is that when I think of stopping blogging, it makes me sad.  I have made many "real friends" and learned everything I know about running through it.  There is a huge community out there that I feel a part of.  So for now - I haven't given up on it, however sporadic my forays might be...

But onwards people.  I'm 40 tomorrow and I'm excited.  It's all good.  There's been some rain on my parade in the past but tomorrow I'm marching my band out.  And for you - younger readers - don't worry about it.  It's all good.  Yes - it takes my face a good hour to lose the impression of my pillow on my face in the morning.  But who cares.  Life truly, truly is juicy - and it gets juicier! - and I'm really having my bite.  Doing this course is the most energising, right thing for me to do - and it's good for me even if it is tough to be away from the kids and Adam and home.  I'm passionate about pursuing this career and can't wait to get started on it.

So once again - I'm going to catch up on everything in due course - and on you.  I promise.  Life won't be this crazy forever.  I'll be checking in - and then I'll truly be back.  40 - and loving it.

15 comments:

Emily said...

You don't look a day past 12. Have a wonderful celebration tomorrow!

Susan said...

You make 40 look FABULOUS in all respects! :)

Meg said...

Such a juicy post, I LOVED it. As always. You speak from the heart; the good, the bad and the HONEST. Thanks for that!
I've loved every year of being 40. Mind you, not every minute but each year of my 40's has brought so much growth and so many changes. I'm grateful.
xoxoBIG, HUGE hugs on this special day! BTW, so happy for you and the road you've taken. So brave, so fun and so full of new promises at this new stage.
You're awesome.

jen said...

Happy 40th birthday to a woman that most 20 or 30 year-olds would swap lives with in a second. You are gorgeous, fit, ambitious, bold, fun, and just generally magnificent. I adore you Petra! I am so proud of you. Keep up the good work and get in touch soon. Enjoy your special day!! Xoxo

Cotter Crunch said...

you beter be excited! you are one inspirational woman. and to see you come back from such a rough "season" give me hope. We all hit rock bottom but then we stand up stronger, wiser, and grateful.
Happy birthday beautiful!

Amanda@runninghood said...

I love your passion girl! So glad you are doing something that makes you feel happy and driven. Yes, don't stop blogging...even if you slow down. Your posts always bring something to the table for me. :) So there's your answer, yes, you are offering something that others are not. Happy 40th. I know that I am going to love my 40's even more than my 30's and my 30's are pretty dang awesome. The older I get, the more I love being a woman. I wouldn't go back to my 20's for all the money in the world. NO THANK YOU...I was a whack job. ah ha. ;) enjoy those 40's girl!

Fran said...

Happy, happy birthday Petra

"Yes - it takes my face a good hour to lose the impression of my pillow on my face in the morning."

Just an hour? Wait till you're 43 like I am, it takes an hour and a half :)

I'm glad you decided not to quit blogging. I haven't been following you for years but the time I have I loved every post of you.

Just blog when you have the time, no worries if that's once a month or every 2 months. I'm not going anywhere.

Johann said...

Happy 40th! You inspire many and will continue to do so. This is where life starts having meaning and actually makes sense. Enjoy a good celebration!

.:Ash:. said...

Happy birthday, Petra!
I've only recently begun following your blog. But, I really appreciate the very emotional and personal nature of your posts. You're clearly an inspiring runner. And, I look forward to reading about your progress!

pensive said...

Happy Birthday, Petra! You deserve the Happy!!!

I absolutely get something from your blog that is not already out there. You are incredibly busy right now, and you have to respect your sanity for demanding its own bit of your time, but I think blogging less often is a great compromise between your dueling needs.

As someone who has always looked forward to aging just to escape the stupidity of youth, I totally understand your lack of freaking out. Forty is a good thing. Old enough to no better, and still too young to care.

Happy Day, Doll. You deserve it.

pensive said...

no better? god i love a good freudian slip.

that was awesome.

Ana-Maria RunTriLive said...

Happy Birthday! 40s are supposed to be even better than 30s! So excited for all the changes in your life! Good to hear from you!

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Jill said...

First, you better not stop blogging. I'm such a bad emailer and love that I can catch a quick glimpse into your life through your blog. I have nothing to write about either (evident by the 2 followers I lost this week - haha) but hopefully I won't have to write any more sob stories about my foot!! :)

Second, I am sorry I missed your post and I am SOOO sorry I missed your special 40th day! You are going to love the 40th...well, until you're 48 like me, then morning you see more gray hairs, more wrinkles, and your foot hurts and you can't sleep and cellulite coagulates on your thighs and..... but until then, you are going to have a blast!!! Wish I could be there to celebrate (or celebratED) with you! I am going to make it a priority one day when I have money again to make it to see you! That's my 40th present to you (It may just be when you're 44 - haha).

xo

Happy Feet 26.2 said...

hello Petra - thanks for your kind comments.

you certainly have important offerings to the blog world, but I would say....blog for yourself. If you enjoy it, and it gives you any value, do it, if not, let it go. I think we all have hit a bit of a lull in blogging. (I just repeat the same things over and over, ha) I have been thinking about blogging more about weight loss, maintenance, and nutrition because that is REALLY important to me now and I haven't covered much about that.

sorry I missed your big birthday. so far, my 40s are not bad, in fact, I've done my BEST running in my 40s - whoop! (I could do without the "old lady skin", should have listened to my Mom back in my obsessive tanning days - yuck! but back then, tanning was my passion, thankfully running took it's place)

Supreme 90 day is great for me. The DVDs are 40ish minutes, which works well for me. I like the variety of the dvds, and I like the price. It's similar to P90x, but cheaper and I like the shorter classes. (I think the p90x are an hour or more. Too much with running too)

I looked back at my mileage through the summer. I believe in the 10% rule,(roughly) but I do feel, for ME, personally, I can "get away with" a little more. Starting the wk of May 23-date, to give you an idea.. weekly mileage 24, 30, 16.5, 16, 8, 12, 25, 30, 39, 43, 30, 48, 53, 25, 61, 20, 55, 60, 62, 41, 70, 16, 70. You can see that I go up for a few wks, and then take a "step back" week in mileage. This has worked well for me. sorry for the length...